Epilogue: Life Goes On

Epilogue: Life Goes On

EPOV

The dull light of another grey Forks morning breaks through the curtains and washes across Bella’s sleeping face, making her alabaster skin glow and her mahogany hair shine. How it is possible for her to get more beautiful I don't know, but ever since she awakened she has seemed even more radiant to me than before. Perhaps the long separation and the threat of losing her is making me appreciate her more. And I do appreciate her; I treasure every day we share, knowing that any one could be her last. Or not, as the case may be.

Bella did not hesitate to argue her point visa vie her transformation, bringing it up the first time we were all gathered together without any other humans around. The ensuing 'discussion' ended in a vote, with each of us saying whether we wanted her to change or not. Only Rosalie sided with me, and it was decided that Carlisle would do the honours when Bella pretended to go off to college. Luckily, because of all the school she missed, Bella had to take summer school in order to graduate, and I was able to talk her into taking a year off – which gives me an extra year to give her all the human experiences I can.

She does deserve the relaxation time. While Alice went back to school after our return, I did not, choosing to spend my days at Bella’s side while she slept. This had the unexpected benefit of meaning we were both in the same boat when it came to our schooling – sort of – and I was able to spend the whole summer with her at school, encouraging and tutoring her whenever she would let me. Of course, she passed all her finals with flying colours, even the dreaded Calculus.

My love does not stir as I watch her peaceful slumber; so much better than the dead sleep of her coma. She does not react when Charlie gets up to go to work, clomping around loudly in his heavy boots, and she sleeps through the cruiser pulling out of the drive.

Another potential problem that turned out better than expected; Charlie and Renee easily accepted our story explaining their 'dreams' about us being vampires, believing that they had simply fallen asleep in front of an old Dracula movie, and the content of the film had influenced their subconscious. Renee spent a few more weeks here with Bella, then returned to Florida, content with the knowledge that her daughter was safe and happy. I found Renee’s mind intriguing to listen to when not enmeshed in grief. Her childlike point of view and easy distraction definitely worked in our favour.

Charlie is slightly more cynical, and I see him giving me suspicious looks every so often, but he never says anything, and he too seems content as long as Bella is happy. He can't argue that her state of mind now isn't a thousand times better than it was.

I reach out and gently brush my fingertips across Bella’s cheek. She sighs and her eyelids flicker. I can't deny the profound sense of relief I get every time she opens her eyes in the morning, even after all this time.

“Hey,” she mumbles, smiling at me sleepily.

“Good morning,” I smile. “Happy birthday.”

She groans, and I can't help chuckling a little. She pouts, looking utterly adorable, and says, “Can't we just forget my birthday? It never seems to go well.”

I try not to frown and succeed... just. “Don't you worry Bella. Alice learned her lesson; no party, no attention. I couldn't stop everyone buying presents of course, but I have their solemn promise not to interfere. Today is all about you and me, sharing some much needed quality time.” I kiss her forehead, right where it puckers into a frown. “Nothing to worry about. I’ll protect you from the big bad monster, I promise.” My tone is teasing, but the promise is very real. I will protect her from everything, be it my brother, Victoria, or the Volturi – who, in the biggest stroke of luck in history, still haven't learned of her existence.

Bella purses her lips, eyeing me speculatively. “Just you and me?”

I nod.

“And we can do whatever I want?”

“Anything, love.”

She seems to think about that for a moment, then breaks into a wide smile. “Well, how about we start with you giving me a proper kiss.” she teases, wrapping one arm around my waist and drawing herself closer.

“As you wish, my lady,” I chuckle, and lean in to press my lips to hers. I kiss her firmly, with just enough pressure, parting my lips so that I am breathing into her mouth. She sighs happily and presses forward, eager to get more out of me. For once, I let her, unwilling to deny her anything today. I roll onto my back and she leans over me, never breaking our kiss as I cup her face between my hands. Her hands rest on my chest and the warmth of her soaks through my shirt into the very core of my being. I love it, and I can't get enough.

We kiss for a long time, longer than we ever have before. Every so often I pull away and kiss down the column of her throat so that she can breath, but Bella is quick to pull me back to her lips, never letting me stray far. When her stomach rumbles, we both laugh, and she finally gets up, climbing out of the bed and extending her hand towards me. I take it, though I don't need her help getting up, and we walk together downstairs to the kitchen.

I watch her again as she eats her breakfast and chatters happily about all the nonsensical goings on of our former classmates. She knows that I already know everything she says, and more, but her voice comforts me; it reminds me that she is still here, along with her scent and her heartbeat and the emotions held in the unfathomable depths of her milk chocolate eyes and the feel of her warm hand in mine. She knows all of this too, knows how much I need reassuring. She has become the strong one out of the two of us, the one to hold me up when no one else can. The fact that she does this naturally and happily makes me love her even more, reaffirms for me the certainty that we are meant for each other.

There will be difficulties ahead, I am sure. We will have more than our fair share of fights and arguments, like any couple. But I know that as long as we have each other, everything will work out in the end.

Because I can't imagine living without her.

Chapter 9: Obituary

Chapter 9: Obituary
Jacob POV

In desperation we do strange things, Bells. You just don’t stop to think about them before you’re doing something insane without reason.

It was so hard Bella, for all of us. Fake-smiles and flowers were all that stopped us from trying to think about, let alone answer, that nagging word that silenced the room.

You go into this state of ignorance for the world around you. Time doesn’t matter any more. Days blur into weeks, clocks have no purpose – the rules of night and day don’t apply to you any more. I found myself fighting with the nurses as they told me to leave, my friends tried to drag me out in the night as I listened to your soothing heart monitor – the rhythmic buzzing became my favourite song, a lullaby that reminded me you were still in there. You were still alive. It got to the stage where I was sat opposite him. You’re probably happy at that I guess. Your internal melody kept us from fighting talking – both joined by the shared faith in your survival and infuriated when that beautiful silence was interrupted.

Anyway, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, and I’d rather you hear it from me first. Here it goes. I kissed you when you were in your coma, on the lips. I wish I could say that I had dreamed of your fairytale awakening, Bells, but the truth is a lot more twisted than that. They were out hunting; I was alone, with you… looking so radiant. The partitions between the room were closed; the curtains open to let the sunlight stream onto your porcelain skin. It sprung out of nowhere, I swear! I know you’ll hate me; I’m an idiot and a creep. I shouldn’t have even considered it, trust me Bells – I wasn’t in my right mind, I wasn’t myself! The Docs were giving up hope, it was months Bella, they didn’t think you’d make it; they said… they said we should consider ‘letting you go’. Never! I would never, Bella, I wouldn’t even consider it! I will never give up hope on you. You’ve got to believe me, I wasn’t thinking straight. They said you should die ‘peacefully’, I guess the blood-suckers decided to clear their heads and ran away, but I faced it Bella, I stayed with you as they left you. Alone. I would’ve done anything. Just to know that there was something there, that you were inside, hearing my screams.

What had I been dreaming about? - You’re probably wondering. There’s a reason I kept this to the end, Bells, because it has been haunting me since the day you fell and up until now it’s been incomplete, but now that missing detail that I needed to finish it was found.

I planned it – my death – vowed that if you didn’t wake up, if that monitor skipped one small beat, then I was going with you. I will always follow you Bells, into the darkness. I stayed as close as they would let me, making sure that you were still there, counting each precious tone in my head. It would be the same way you went: I would go to the cliffs we had been at so many months ago. I was going to take some peonies, white ones – your favourites, aren’t they? I would put them there with my note, so everybody knew it was not an accident, but a declaration of my undying love for you, Bella. A purposeful; meaningful act of sheer courage that was never to be mistaken for a drunken leap or idiotic dare that a childish teenager would do. I would slot the note in the flowers and tie it with some black ribbon – embroidered with gold thread to bind the words onto the silk fabric forever. “Sleep tight, princess.” Then I would jump, near the rocks, the day after your funeral. It wouldn’t hurt, Bells, because I’d know I would be with you soon. Hear your laughter again, like the soft chime of bells. See you smile, just one more time.

You know in some cultures, taking a picture of someone is as personal as cutting off some of their hair, because it is like capturing a piece of their soul. I don’t want to just have the memories, there is no soul in the newer pictures I have of you. You don’t smile with your eyes, I can tell. Because when you really smile it melts my heart and the heat flashes through my body like a firework. I just want to see you smile, Bells. Just to show me this was an accident, not an escape-route – I know you’re smart, Bella, but you wouldn’t. Would you? It makes me wonder if I really know you at all.

I know I’ve been looking for too many ‘signs’ over the past few weeks, spent hours asking you to move a finger, flutter an eyelash, anything just to reaffirm my faith, reassure me that this is worth it. But I’m serious here; Bells… just, just pull through this. Wake up. I guess it makes no difference to me though; I’ll be with you wherever you are. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there. I know, I know, you probably don’t feel the same about me yet, but I can deal with that. Just as long as you’re safe, Bells. Happy.

Sweet Dreams,

Jacob

I watch as the water swallows the final word and the waves drag the sodden rag into the darkness. Nobody has to know about this. I don’t know why I even decided to write it. It seems so pathetic and weak. At least she’ll never have to see it, feel the lies sink into her cold skin. I got sucked into that black hole of remorse, just begging for her sympathy. The biggest lie, the most difficult to write is by far the worst. She’ll never be happy, so long as he is here. And I will never be able to deal with that.

Bella POV

It was like a deeply rehearsed play. Carlisle shot them with rubber bullets in the forest near their house, to knock them out. Alice and I had some fun arranging them on the sofas with strewn blankets and half-empty coffee mugs, the dregs swirling at the bottom. Edward said I should lie down, get some rest, build up my strength – but I didn’t want to waste any second they were with me. We continued with our life-size doll house game and added an open packet of biscuits, sprinkling some crumbs over the floor, much to Esme’s dismay, and set up a horror movie to play the credits as they were waking up. I put a magazine on the couch next to Renee and her phone in her hand. It was all rather convincing until we had to devise the reason they were at the Cullen’s recently refurbished house as far away from the hospital as it could get.

‘Ooh, I know, we could bring some equipment to the cliff,’ Alice said, enthusiastically, turning to Carlisle in need of approval.

Edward rolled his eyes and her voice became background noise as I stared into the amber jewels, our gazes locked instantly, the room becoming a hazy blur. Alice had been coming up with many extreme ideas and everyone was starting to lose patience, but it seemed that this one had caught Carlisle’s attention.

‘Well, if we just move this here, we could bring some equipment back, then set it up over there,’ He walked from the room, Alice in tow, pointing widely with his arms.

I looked to Edward and he shook his head indulgently.

‘We’ll leave this up to them, just make sure you don’t laugh during our little performance’ He smiled, and I felt my heart thud slowly into my ribcage like a hammer on a over-filled pillow, quickly remembering to return his smile.

It had been so long, so long since I’d seen him, touched him, felt his marble torso as we clung together.

Only a few hours ago I was blasted into thick, blinding darkness, suffocating in this heavy fog that was pushing on every cell in my body and being swallowed into the damp core of this strange being, nothingness, hacking at every part of me.

And in the deafening silence something grabbed me.

Then I was choking, it felt like I would explode, a balloon fit to burst and was still being pumped with astonishing light and forced down my throat with no space for it, but it was a magnificent feeling, thousands of blinding butterflies floating through my bones and caressing each inch of me until I was luminous and the butterflies dissolved until I feel a razor slide into my lungs. Then another, and I realise it is air. So I intake all I can, the familiar thump of my heart charging up, ready for the finale. My eyes flickered and I saw a bizarre pink glow penetrating through the darkness. My eyelids! So I concentrate, feeling the cool breeze brush onto my cheeks like stone, willing with all of the trapped energy inside of me that had been dormant for so long…

And then they were open. And he was there.

And all was right with the world.

Chapter 8: Showdown

Chapter 7: Showdown

EPOV

I know Alice is going to kill me, but I can't help it. I’ve been on this quest – a quest to remove Victoria from this earth, thereby making Bella safe forever – for months now, and when I saw in Jacob's mind that she had been here... I can't not try and track her down.

Looks like I’m going to get lucky too. There's a strong trail leading into the mountains, and even an inexperienced tracker like me can tell that it's fresh; she came this way no more than a few hours ago. I follow it, racing as fast as I can to catch her.

Five minutes in, and something isn't quite right. There is a distinctly human scent alongside Victoria’s. I think I even see a few spots of blood every so often. Why would she carry a kill, bleeding, all the way out here? Unless she's trying to turn someone. But... no... it can't be... it can't.

It is.

I don't know why I didn't recognise it before. The scent, so tempting, so strong, it burns my throat like nothing else, making me suddenly hyper aware of how thirsty I am.

Bella. She has Bella. Oh God, no, no, please no. She'll die; without her life support... she could be dead already. No, no, she can't she can't.

I find a burst of speed I didn't know was possible. I stop only to take down a deer that happens to cross my path, and then only for a few minutes, only so I have enough strength. Then I am flying again, tearing through the trees faster than ever before, not caring that I’m probably knocking over a few of them, not caring that there are probably twigs and leaves in my hair and dirt on my clothes. Not caring about anything but finding her, saving her, reaching her before it is too late and I lose her forever.

Frustration builds within me, more and more every second, compounding itself and combining with something very similar to adrenaline, until I am consumed by complete and utter fury. How dare she! How dare that low-life, disgusting, monstrous... I can't even call her a woman. She is the most sorry excuse for a female that I have ever known. To attack an innocent, injured, defenceless girl, to wilfully risk ending her life to avenge the death of a creature as deplorable as herself. I will take great satisfaction from ending her, I know it. If she has hurt my Bella, I won't be responsible for my actions.

The mountains loom over me and I speed up again. I don't know how I can go any faster; it can't be physically possible. But then there is the scent, stronger now as I get closer, and more blood on the trail. Soon, soon. They're close, I know it. Please, God please, let Bella be okay. Don't take my last reason to exist away from me. I need her and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I am selfish to feel that way, but I don't care. She is all I live for. Please, please, please...

At last, I see an opening in the rock face ahead of me; a small cave, about seven feet high and ten or so wide. I can just see the back of it, too far to judge the distance but not far enough to be out of sight. Of course, that means I see the figure who stands inside, and the slumped shape on the floor. I see the flash of red hair in a chance ray of sun. I smell the rich, tangy, burning scent of fresh blood and open wounds.

I growl, low in my throat, then fury takes over and I roar, so loud it shakes the trees and bounces off the rocks.

“VICTORIA!”

Her head whips around, fiery hair flying, and answers me with a ferocious snarl. She is as angry at me for finding her as I am at her for what she's doing. Just as I reach the cave, she comes flying out of it, teeth snapping and hands curled into claws. We collide with a loud BOOM, and we don't even wait until we hit the ground before we are up and fighting. Again and again, she swipes at me, trying to get at my neck, growling and snarling, her face so twisted it is barely human any more. I know I must look the same, but I honestly don't care. I have to win, I have to destroy her, so I can get to Bella.

Bella Bella Bella Bella...

I can't even allow myself to listen for her heartbeat; I have to focus on the she-devil who refuses to be defeated or ignored. We twist and turn, her movements coming to me a second before she makes them, mine anticipated by her just as quickly. We are almost evenly matched. Almost. But she is thirsty, and I am not. Bella’s scent fills the air as her blood drips onto the rock, and it is distracting Victoria. Every few seconds, her head turns slightly towards the source of the glorious scent; she cannot resist it, but I can. I have lived with that smell for so long, I barely even register it.

There is a moment; she is more distracted than ever before, turning almost completely away from me, forgetting me entirely for a split second. It's all I need to dart in and enclose her in my arms tightly, my mouth at her throat. She stiffens and hisses.

“You're too late!” she growls, her already shrill voice even more grating. “You're too late to save her!”

“Go to hell.” I snarl in her ear, and rip her head from her shoulders with my teeth.

I spend the next minute taking my frustrations out on her body. By the time I am done, the pile of stony flesh is not even recognisable as a person any more. I pull out the lighter I stowed in my pocket before I left, flicking it on and throwing it into the mound. The flame catches immediately, and the foul smelling smoke begins to rise into the evening sky.

I turn away from the funeral pyre and enter the cave. Bella’s broken body lies in a corner, surrounded by shards of rock – the remains of a small boulder by the entrance. Some have cut her; her face and arms are covered in little red scratches. The IV is still poking out of the back of her hand, and various sensors, their wires trailing in the dirt, are still attached to her, but the breathing tube the doctors put on her before I arrived is gone. Her mouth and eyes are closed, and she looks as peaceful and beautiful as ever.

There is no sound. Not even my breathing breaks the silence that has fallen. It is as if all the world has ceased its racket in this one moment; humans, animals, vampires, werewolves, and all the other creatures of this earth, all silent in tribute to this wonderful girl.

Because Victoria was right. I am too late. Bella’s heart has stopped and she is dead.

She is dead.

I break down. My knees buckle and I collapse to the floor. Sobs rip through me, puncturing the stillness as I crawl across the cave floor to her side, as I reach out and gently remove the little wires from her forehead, as I carefully work the needle out of her hand. Agonising grief, unlike any I have ever experienced, wraps itself around my heart and squeezes, crushing every hope and desire and happiness I have ever had. My sobs become full blown howls of pain as I stare at her still form; her face looks as if she is merely sleeping, that same dead sleep that has gripped her for so many weeks.

But now, the death is real. There is no slight rise and fall of her chest, no strong, comforting heartbeat, reassuring me despite my misgivings. I will never see those sparkling brown eyes, never hear her sigh my name, never watch her bite her lip in that way that always made me want to kiss her so badly.

The noise I am making is bouncing around the cave and the rocks outside, loud enough to deafen even me. I don't care. I cry and cry, half-screaming her name over and over, though I can no longer think it – it hurts too much.

I don't realise I have company until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up; it is Carlisle. He is looking down at me with pity in his eyes, the same look he gave me almost 90 years ago when he told me my mother was dead. I glance over my shoulder; the rest of my family is standing in the opening to the cave. Alice and Esme seem on the edge of tears; Emmett’s usual smile is absent; Jasper's face is twisted as he absorbs all the pain around him; even Rosalie looks upset. I realise suddenly that I hear heartbeats; Renee and Charlie stand beside Rosalie, holding hands and staring at their daughter. I don't care how they got here, or that the fact they are here means they must know our secret. I simply don't care about anything any more.

“Edward,” Carlisle murmurs gently. Son, we need to move her.

“NO!” I shout, making the humans jump. I turn back to my darling and bury my face in her chest, covering her with my body.“Don't touch her!”

Renee is crying; I can hear her quiet sobs. Her mind is full of sadness and grief. She cries for the loss of her child, and she cries for me.

Just look at him... he loves her so much. I thought he looked broken at the hospital but now...

I cannot listen. Her pity is too much for me to handle. I block them all out, focusing on the angel in my arms, looking at her still, perfect features. She really is an angel now. In the hands of God, where I can never follow.

“One last kiss my love,” I whisper, too quiet for anyone to hear, except perhaps Carlisle. “One last kiss before we say goodbye.”

And I press my lips to hers as gently as I always have since the very first time, on that sunny Saturday when I first showed her the meadow; our meadow. Only now, she doesn't respond. She doesn't fly at me with a fervour that nearly shatters my control. She doesn't wrap her arms around me and hug me, as if she could hold me to her forever. She stays absolutely still.

My lips leave hers after a moment; I kiss her no longer than I would normally, breaking away before she runs out of air. But she isn't breathing now, so I don't know why I bother. Just remembering that she is well and truly gone has me breaking down again, sobbing uncontrollably into the hideous hospital gown that is the only thing covering her fragile body. Voices surround me; hands touch me; minds try to invade my own. I ignore it all. The world no longer has any importance for me.

Thump.

I freeze. The cooler hands on me do too, and all the sounds stop. A gruff voice – Charlie – asks what is wrong. Someone shushes him.

Thump.

Again. That noise... so familiar... so close.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Thump thump thump thump thump...

A heartbeat. A heartbeat. Impossible, yet it is true. I know its sound; I would know it anywhere, could pick it out from a crowd of hundreds, hear it from miles away.

Miraculously, impossibly, denying all logic and reason, Bella’s heart is beating.

“What is it?” Renee asks as I raise my head to stare at my beloved's still frozen face.

“Her heart,” Carlisle sounds perplexed. “It's beating. But I’m sure... it wasn't when we arrived.”

“You hear it too?” Alice chimes in, her voice shaking. “I’m not imagining it?”

“You're not,” I whisper, “Unless I am too. Unless we all are.”

Suddenly, Bella's lips part. She sucks in a deep breath and lets it out, then another, and another, until she is breathing normally. She still hasn't moved, and she still appears to be sleeping, but her heart and her breaths sound so much stronger, more healthy than they did in the hospital.

I lean over, taking her face in my hands. “Bella? Love, can you hear me?”

Her ivory forehead puckers, the little crinkle between her eyebrows that always appears when she is worried forming itself. She scrunches up her eyes, before her lids flutter briefly and slowly open. Several people gasp in astonishment; I may be one of them.

Bella stares at me, the wide chocolate-coloured eyes I have missed so much alight with wonder. We gaze into each others eyes for a moment. Then her frown vanishes and she smiles, a big, real smile that lights up her whole face.

“Edward,” she whispers, and the sound of her voice saying my name as I have dreamt of for so many months is like a chorus of angels. “You're here. You saved me.”

“Bella,” I choke, “Oh Bella!”

I wrap my arms around her, crushing her to my chest while being careful not to hurt her. Her arms, shaking slightly, enclose me in return, and she rubs her hands up and down my back soothingly.

“I thought I’d lost you.” I sob, my face pressed into her hair.

“So did I.” she whispers, and I can hear the fear in her tone. “But it's okay, I’m okay now. We're together, and everything will be alright as long as that is true.” She is reassuring me; for once, I am weak and she is strong.

I pull back to look her in the eyes.

“I love you.” I say, hoping she will see the sincerity in my eyes, hoping she will read the things I cannot say aloud. I’m sorry, forgive me, love me still, despite everything I’ve done to you.

Bella smiles softly, adoringly. “I love you too.” Her voice is still soft, weak after so long without use, but it is impossible to doubt her honesty.

She takes my face in her hands and pulls me down for another kiss, and I am home.