Epilogue: Life Goes On

Epilogue: Life Goes On

EPOV

The dull light of another grey Forks morning breaks through the curtains and washes across Bella’s sleeping face, making her alabaster skin glow and her mahogany hair shine. How it is possible for her to get more beautiful I don't know, but ever since she awakened she has seemed even more radiant to me than before. Perhaps the long separation and the threat of losing her is making me appreciate her more. And I do appreciate her; I treasure every day we share, knowing that any one could be her last. Or not, as the case may be.

Bella did not hesitate to argue her point visa vie her transformation, bringing it up the first time we were all gathered together without any other humans around. The ensuing 'discussion' ended in a vote, with each of us saying whether we wanted her to change or not. Only Rosalie sided with me, and it was decided that Carlisle would do the honours when Bella pretended to go off to college. Luckily, because of all the school she missed, Bella had to take summer school in order to graduate, and I was able to talk her into taking a year off – which gives me an extra year to give her all the human experiences I can.

She does deserve the relaxation time. While Alice went back to school after our return, I did not, choosing to spend my days at Bella’s side while she slept. This had the unexpected benefit of meaning we were both in the same boat when it came to our schooling – sort of – and I was able to spend the whole summer with her at school, encouraging and tutoring her whenever she would let me. Of course, she passed all her finals with flying colours, even the dreaded Calculus.

My love does not stir as I watch her peaceful slumber; so much better than the dead sleep of her coma. She does not react when Charlie gets up to go to work, clomping around loudly in his heavy boots, and she sleeps through the cruiser pulling out of the drive.

Another potential problem that turned out better than expected; Charlie and Renee easily accepted our story explaining their 'dreams' about us being vampires, believing that they had simply fallen asleep in front of an old Dracula movie, and the content of the film had influenced their subconscious. Renee spent a few more weeks here with Bella, then returned to Florida, content with the knowledge that her daughter was safe and happy. I found Renee’s mind intriguing to listen to when not enmeshed in grief. Her childlike point of view and easy distraction definitely worked in our favour.

Charlie is slightly more cynical, and I see him giving me suspicious looks every so often, but he never says anything, and he too seems content as long as Bella is happy. He can't argue that her state of mind now isn't a thousand times better than it was.

I reach out and gently brush my fingertips across Bella’s cheek. She sighs and her eyelids flicker. I can't deny the profound sense of relief I get every time she opens her eyes in the morning, even after all this time.

“Hey,” she mumbles, smiling at me sleepily.

“Good morning,” I smile. “Happy birthday.”

She groans, and I can't help chuckling a little. She pouts, looking utterly adorable, and says, “Can't we just forget my birthday? It never seems to go well.”

I try not to frown and succeed... just. “Don't you worry Bella. Alice learned her lesson; no party, no attention. I couldn't stop everyone buying presents of course, but I have their solemn promise not to interfere. Today is all about you and me, sharing some much needed quality time.” I kiss her forehead, right where it puckers into a frown. “Nothing to worry about. I’ll protect you from the big bad monster, I promise.” My tone is teasing, but the promise is very real. I will protect her from everything, be it my brother, Victoria, or the Volturi – who, in the biggest stroke of luck in history, still haven't learned of her existence.

Bella purses her lips, eyeing me speculatively. “Just you and me?”

I nod.

“And we can do whatever I want?”

“Anything, love.”

She seems to think about that for a moment, then breaks into a wide smile. “Well, how about we start with you giving me a proper kiss.” she teases, wrapping one arm around my waist and drawing herself closer.

“As you wish, my lady,” I chuckle, and lean in to press my lips to hers. I kiss her firmly, with just enough pressure, parting my lips so that I am breathing into her mouth. She sighs happily and presses forward, eager to get more out of me. For once, I let her, unwilling to deny her anything today. I roll onto my back and she leans over me, never breaking our kiss as I cup her face between my hands. Her hands rest on my chest and the warmth of her soaks through my shirt into the very core of my being. I love it, and I can't get enough.

We kiss for a long time, longer than we ever have before. Every so often I pull away and kiss down the column of her throat so that she can breath, but Bella is quick to pull me back to her lips, never letting me stray far. When her stomach rumbles, we both laugh, and she finally gets up, climbing out of the bed and extending her hand towards me. I take it, though I don't need her help getting up, and we walk together downstairs to the kitchen.

I watch her again as she eats her breakfast and chatters happily about all the nonsensical goings on of our former classmates. She knows that I already know everything she says, and more, but her voice comforts me; it reminds me that she is still here, along with her scent and her heartbeat and the emotions held in the unfathomable depths of her milk chocolate eyes and the feel of her warm hand in mine. She knows all of this too, knows how much I need reassuring. She has become the strong one out of the two of us, the one to hold me up when no one else can. The fact that she does this naturally and happily makes me love her even more, reaffirms for me the certainty that we are meant for each other.

There will be difficulties ahead, I am sure. We will have more than our fair share of fights and arguments, like any couple. But I know that as long as we have each other, everything will work out in the end.

Because I can't imagine living without her.

Chapter 9: Obituary

Chapter 9: Obituary
Jacob POV

In desperation we do strange things, Bells. You just don’t stop to think about them before you’re doing something insane without reason.

It was so hard Bella, for all of us. Fake-smiles and flowers were all that stopped us from trying to think about, let alone answer, that nagging word that silenced the room.

You go into this state of ignorance for the world around you. Time doesn’t matter any more. Days blur into weeks, clocks have no purpose – the rules of night and day don’t apply to you any more. I found myself fighting with the nurses as they told me to leave, my friends tried to drag me out in the night as I listened to your soothing heart monitor – the rhythmic buzzing became my favourite song, a lullaby that reminded me you were still in there. You were still alive. It got to the stage where I was sat opposite him. You’re probably happy at that I guess. Your internal melody kept us from fighting talking – both joined by the shared faith in your survival and infuriated when that beautiful silence was interrupted.

Anyway, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, and I’d rather you hear it from me first. Here it goes. I kissed you when you were in your coma, on the lips. I wish I could say that I had dreamed of your fairytale awakening, Bells, but the truth is a lot more twisted than that. They were out hunting; I was alone, with you… looking so radiant. The partitions between the room were closed; the curtains open to let the sunlight stream onto your porcelain skin. It sprung out of nowhere, I swear! I know you’ll hate me; I’m an idiot and a creep. I shouldn’t have even considered it, trust me Bells – I wasn’t in my right mind, I wasn’t myself! The Docs were giving up hope, it was months Bella, they didn’t think you’d make it; they said… they said we should consider ‘letting you go’. Never! I would never, Bella, I wouldn’t even consider it! I will never give up hope on you. You’ve got to believe me, I wasn’t thinking straight. They said you should die ‘peacefully’, I guess the blood-suckers decided to clear their heads and ran away, but I faced it Bella, I stayed with you as they left you. Alone. I would’ve done anything. Just to know that there was something there, that you were inside, hearing my screams.

What had I been dreaming about? - You’re probably wondering. There’s a reason I kept this to the end, Bells, because it has been haunting me since the day you fell and up until now it’s been incomplete, but now that missing detail that I needed to finish it was found.

I planned it – my death – vowed that if you didn’t wake up, if that monitor skipped one small beat, then I was going with you. I will always follow you Bells, into the darkness. I stayed as close as they would let me, making sure that you were still there, counting each precious tone in my head. It would be the same way you went: I would go to the cliffs we had been at so many months ago. I was going to take some peonies, white ones – your favourites, aren’t they? I would put them there with my note, so everybody knew it was not an accident, but a declaration of my undying love for you, Bella. A purposeful; meaningful act of sheer courage that was never to be mistaken for a drunken leap or idiotic dare that a childish teenager would do. I would slot the note in the flowers and tie it with some black ribbon – embroidered with gold thread to bind the words onto the silk fabric forever. “Sleep tight, princess.” Then I would jump, near the rocks, the day after your funeral. It wouldn’t hurt, Bells, because I’d know I would be with you soon. Hear your laughter again, like the soft chime of bells. See you smile, just one more time.

You know in some cultures, taking a picture of someone is as personal as cutting off some of their hair, because it is like capturing a piece of their soul. I don’t want to just have the memories, there is no soul in the newer pictures I have of you. You don’t smile with your eyes, I can tell. Because when you really smile it melts my heart and the heat flashes through my body like a firework. I just want to see you smile, Bells. Just to show me this was an accident, not an escape-route – I know you’re smart, Bella, but you wouldn’t. Would you? It makes me wonder if I really know you at all.

I know I’ve been looking for too many ‘signs’ over the past few weeks, spent hours asking you to move a finger, flutter an eyelash, anything just to reaffirm my faith, reassure me that this is worth it. But I’m serious here; Bells… just, just pull through this. Wake up. I guess it makes no difference to me though; I’ll be with you wherever you are. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there. I know, I know, you probably don’t feel the same about me yet, but I can deal with that. Just as long as you’re safe, Bells. Happy.

Sweet Dreams,

Jacob

I watch as the water swallows the final word and the waves drag the sodden rag into the darkness. Nobody has to know about this. I don’t know why I even decided to write it. It seems so pathetic and weak. At least she’ll never have to see it, feel the lies sink into her cold skin. I got sucked into that black hole of remorse, just begging for her sympathy. The biggest lie, the most difficult to write is by far the worst. She’ll never be happy, so long as he is here. And I will never be able to deal with that.

Bella POV

It was like a deeply rehearsed play. Carlisle shot them with rubber bullets in the forest near their house, to knock them out. Alice and I had some fun arranging them on the sofas with strewn blankets and half-empty coffee mugs, the dregs swirling at the bottom. Edward said I should lie down, get some rest, build up my strength – but I didn’t want to waste any second they were with me. We continued with our life-size doll house game and added an open packet of biscuits, sprinkling some crumbs over the floor, much to Esme’s dismay, and set up a horror movie to play the credits as they were waking up. I put a magazine on the couch next to Renee and her phone in her hand. It was all rather convincing until we had to devise the reason they were at the Cullen’s recently refurbished house as far away from the hospital as it could get.

‘Ooh, I know, we could bring some equipment to the cliff,’ Alice said, enthusiastically, turning to Carlisle in need of approval.

Edward rolled his eyes and her voice became background noise as I stared into the amber jewels, our gazes locked instantly, the room becoming a hazy blur. Alice had been coming up with many extreme ideas and everyone was starting to lose patience, but it seemed that this one had caught Carlisle’s attention.

‘Well, if we just move this here, we could bring some equipment back, then set it up over there,’ He walked from the room, Alice in tow, pointing widely with his arms.

I looked to Edward and he shook his head indulgently.

‘We’ll leave this up to them, just make sure you don’t laugh during our little performance’ He smiled, and I felt my heart thud slowly into my ribcage like a hammer on a over-filled pillow, quickly remembering to return his smile.

It had been so long, so long since I’d seen him, touched him, felt his marble torso as we clung together.

Only a few hours ago I was blasted into thick, blinding darkness, suffocating in this heavy fog that was pushing on every cell in my body and being swallowed into the damp core of this strange being, nothingness, hacking at every part of me.

And in the deafening silence something grabbed me.

Then I was choking, it felt like I would explode, a balloon fit to burst and was still being pumped with astonishing light and forced down my throat with no space for it, but it was a magnificent feeling, thousands of blinding butterflies floating through my bones and caressing each inch of me until I was luminous and the butterflies dissolved until I feel a razor slide into my lungs. Then another, and I realise it is air. So I intake all I can, the familiar thump of my heart charging up, ready for the finale. My eyes flickered and I saw a bizarre pink glow penetrating through the darkness. My eyelids! So I concentrate, feeling the cool breeze brush onto my cheeks like stone, willing with all of the trapped energy inside of me that had been dormant for so long…

And then they were open. And he was there.

And all was right with the world.

Chapter 8: Showdown

Chapter 7: Showdown

EPOV

I know Alice is going to kill me, but I can't help it. I’ve been on this quest – a quest to remove Victoria from this earth, thereby making Bella safe forever – for months now, and when I saw in Jacob's mind that she had been here... I can't not try and track her down.

Looks like I’m going to get lucky too. There's a strong trail leading into the mountains, and even an inexperienced tracker like me can tell that it's fresh; she came this way no more than a few hours ago. I follow it, racing as fast as I can to catch her.

Five minutes in, and something isn't quite right. There is a distinctly human scent alongside Victoria’s. I think I even see a few spots of blood every so often. Why would she carry a kill, bleeding, all the way out here? Unless she's trying to turn someone. But... no... it can't be... it can't.

It is.

I don't know why I didn't recognise it before. The scent, so tempting, so strong, it burns my throat like nothing else, making me suddenly hyper aware of how thirsty I am.

Bella. She has Bella. Oh God, no, no, please no. She'll die; without her life support... she could be dead already. No, no, she can't she can't.

I find a burst of speed I didn't know was possible. I stop only to take down a deer that happens to cross my path, and then only for a few minutes, only so I have enough strength. Then I am flying again, tearing through the trees faster than ever before, not caring that I’m probably knocking over a few of them, not caring that there are probably twigs and leaves in my hair and dirt on my clothes. Not caring about anything but finding her, saving her, reaching her before it is too late and I lose her forever.

Frustration builds within me, more and more every second, compounding itself and combining with something very similar to adrenaline, until I am consumed by complete and utter fury. How dare she! How dare that low-life, disgusting, monstrous... I can't even call her a woman. She is the most sorry excuse for a female that I have ever known. To attack an innocent, injured, defenceless girl, to wilfully risk ending her life to avenge the death of a creature as deplorable as herself. I will take great satisfaction from ending her, I know it. If she has hurt my Bella, I won't be responsible for my actions.

The mountains loom over me and I speed up again. I don't know how I can go any faster; it can't be physically possible. But then there is the scent, stronger now as I get closer, and more blood on the trail. Soon, soon. They're close, I know it. Please, God please, let Bella be okay. Don't take my last reason to exist away from me. I need her and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I am selfish to feel that way, but I don't care. She is all I live for. Please, please, please...

At last, I see an opening in the rock face ahead of me; a small cave, about seven feet high and ten or so wide. I can just see the back of it, too far to judge the distance but not far enough to be out of sight. Of course, that means I see the figure who stands inside, and the slumped shape on the floor. I see the flash of red hair in a chance ray of sun. I smell the rich, tangy, burning scent of fresh blood and open wounds.

I growl, low in my throat, then fury takes over and I roar, so loud it shakes the trees and bounces off the rocks.

“VICTORIA!”

Her head whips around, fiery hair flying, and answers me with a ferocious snarl. She is as angry at me for finding her as I am at her for what she's doing. Just as I reach the cave, she comes flying out of it, teeth snapping and hands curled into claws. We collide with a loud BOOM, and we don't even wait until we hit the ground before we are up and fighting. Again and again, she swipes at me, trying to get at my neck, growling and snarling, her face so twisted it is barely human any more. I know I must look the same, but I honestly don't care. I have to win, I have to destroy her, so I can get to Bella.

Bella Bella Bella Bella...

I can't even allow myself to listen for her heartbeat; I have to focus on the she-devil who refuses to be defeated or ignored. We twist and turn, her movements coming to me a second before she makes them, mine anticipated by her just as quickly. We are almost evenly matched. Almost. But she is thirsty, and I am not. Bella’s scent fills the air as her blood drips onto the rock, and it is distracting Victoria. Every few seconds, her head turns slightly towards the source of the glorious scent; she cannot resist it, but I can. I have lived with that smell for so long, I barely even register it.

There is a moment; she is more distracted than ever before, turning almost completely away from me, forgetting me entirely for a split second. It's all I need to dart in and enclose her in my arms tightly, my mouth at her throat. She stiffens and hisses.

“You're too late!” she growls, her already shrill voice even more grating. “You're too late to save her!”

“Go to hell.” I snarl in her ear, and rip her head from her shoulders with my teeth.

I spend the next minute taking my frustrations out on her body. By the time I am done, the pile of stony flesh is not even recognisable as a person any more. I pull out the lighter I stowed in my pocket before I left, flicking it on and throwing it into the mound. The flame catches immediately, and the foul smelling smoke begins to rise into the evening sky.

I turn away from the funeral pyre and enter the cave. Bella’s broken body lies in a corner, surrounded by shards of rock – the remains of a small boulder by the entrance. Some have cut her; her face and arms are covered in little red scratches. The IV is still poking out of the back of her hand, and various sensors, their wires trailing in the dirt, are still attached to her, but the breathing tube the doctors put on her before I arrived is gone. Her mouth and eyes are closed, and she looks as peaceful and beautiful as ever.

There is no sound. Not even my breathing breaks the silence that has fallen. It is as if all the world has ceased its racket in this one moment; humans, animals, vampires, werewolves, and all the other creatures of this earth, all silent in tribute to this wonderful girl.

Because Victoria was right. I am too late. Bella’s heart has stopped and she is dead.

She is dead.

I break down. My knees buckle and I collapse to the floor. Sobs rip through me, puncturing the stillness as I crawl across the cave floor to her side, as I reach out and gently remove the little wires from her forehead, as I carefully work the needle out of her hand. Agonising grief, unlike any I have ever experienced, wraps itself around my heart and squeezes, crushing every hope and desire and happiness I have ever had. My sobs become full blown howls of pain as I stare at her still form; her face looks as if she is merely sleeping, that same dead sleep that has gripped her for so many weeks.

But now, the death is real. There is no slight rise and fall of her chest, no strong, comforting heartbeat, reassuring me despite my misgivings. I will never see those sparkling brown eyes, never hear her sigh my name, never watch her bite her lip in that way that always made me want to kiss her so badly.

The noise I am making is bouncing around the cave and the rocks outside, loud enough to deafen even me. I don't care. I cry and cry, half-screaming her name over and over, though I can no longer think it – it hurts too much.

I don't realise I have company until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up; it is Carlisle. He is looking down at me with pity in his eyes, the same look he gave me almost 90 years ago when he told me my mother was dead. I glance over my shoulder; the rest of my family is standing in the opening to the cave. Alice and Esme seem on the edge of tears; Emmett’s usual smile is absent; Jasper's face is twisted as he absorbs all the pain around him; even Rosalie looks upset. I realise suddenly that I hear heartbeats; Renee and Charlie stand beside Rosalie, holding hands and staring at their daughter. I don't care how they got here, or that the fact they are here means they must know our secret. I simply don't care about anything any more.

“Edward,” Carlisle murmurs gently. Son, we need to move her.

“NO!” I shout, making the humans jump. I turn back to my darling and bury my face in her chest, covering her with my body.“Don't touch her!”

Renee is crying; I can hear her quiet sobs. Her mind is full of sadness and grief. She cries for the loss of her child, and she cries for me.

Just look at him... he loves her so much. I thought he looked broken at the hospital but now...

I cannot listen. Her pity is too much for me to handle. I block them all out, focusing on the angel in my arms, looking at her still, perfect features. She really is an angel now. In the hands of God, where I can never follow.

“One last kiss my love,” I whisper, too quiet for anyone to hear, except perhaps Carlisle. “One last kiss before we say goodbye.”

And I press my lips to hers as gently as I always have since the very first time, on that sunny Saturday when I first showed her the meadow; our meadow. Only now, she doesn't respond. She doesn't fly at me with a fervour that nearly shatters my control. She doesn't wrap her arms around me and hug me, as if she could hold me to her forever. She stays absolutely still.

My lips leave hers after a moment; I kiss her no longer than I would normally, breaking away before she runs out of air. But she isn't breathing now, so I don't know why I bother. Just remembering that she is well and truly gone has me breaking down again, sobbing uncontrollably into the hideous hospital gown that is the only thing covering her fragile body. Voices surround me; hands touch me; minds try to invade my own. I ignore it all. The world no longer has any importance for me.

Thump.

I freeze. The cooler hands on me do too, and all the sounds stop. A gruff voice – Charlie – asks what is wrong. Someone shushes him.

Thump.

Again. That noise... so familiar... so close.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Thump thump thump thump thump...

A heartbeat. A heartbeat. Impossible, yet it is true. I know its sound; I would know it anywhere, could pick it out from a crowd of hundreds, hear it from miles away.

Miraculously, impossibly, denying all logic and reason, Bella’s heart is beating.

“What is it?” Renee asks as I raise my head to stare at my beloved's still frozen face.

“Her heart,” Carlisle sounds perplexed. “It's beating. But I’m sure... it wasn't when we arrived.”

“You hear it too?” Alice chimes in, her voice shaking. “I’m not imagining it?”

“You're not,” I whisper, “Unless I am too. Unless we all are.”

Suddenly, Bella's lips part. She sucks in a deep breath and lets it out, then another, and another, until she is breathing normally. She still hasn't moved, and she still appears to be sleeping, but her heart and her breaths sound so much stronger, more healthy than they did in the hospital.

I lean over, taking her face in my hands. “Bella? Love, can you hear me?”

Her ivory forehead puckers, the little crinkle between her eyebrows that always appears when she is worried forming itself. She scrunches up her eyes, before her lids flutter briefly and slowly open. Several people gasp in astonishment; I may be one of them.

Bella stares at me, the wide chocolate-coloured eyes I have missed so much alight with wonder. We gaze into each others eyes for a moment. Then her frown vanishes and she smiles, a big, real smile that lights up her whole face.

“Edward,” she whispers, and the sound of her voice saying my name as I have dreamt of for so many months is like a chorus of angels. “You're here. You saved me.”

“Bella,” I choke, “Oh Bella!”

I wrap my arms around her, crushing her to my chest while being careful not to hurt her. Her arms, shaking slightly, enclose me in return, and she rubs her hands up and down my back soothingly.

“I thought I’d lost you.” I sob, my face pressed into her hair.

“So did I.” she whispers, and I can hear the fear in her tone. “But it's okay, I’m okay now. We're together, and everything will be alright as long as that is true.” She is reassuring me; for once, I am weak and she is strong.

I pull back to look her in the eyes.

“I love you.” I say, hoping she will see the sincerity in my eyes, hoping she will read the things I cannot say aloud. I’m sorry, forgive me, love me still, despite everything I’ve done to you.

Bella smiles softly, adoringly. “I love you too.” Her voice is still soft, weak after so long without use, but it is impossible to doubt her honesty.

She takes my face in her hands and pulls me down for another kiss, and I am home.

Chapter 6: Wishes

Chapter 6: Wishes

Bella POV

There isn’t much left for me to think about but, still, in some part of my subconscious.,I know there is something to contemplate. A spark of distant memories, buried away in here, waiting for their rediscovery. I’m growing weaker; my energy is dissolving into the tubes and being flushed from my system. Millions of those important seconds, slipping away with each breath. Even he has no hope, not an inkling of optimistic longing. I thought – it’s incredibly naïve, I know – that if anyone would have some faith in me, it would be him. I feel so stupid now; of course I know it’s too much to ask, considering the state I’m in. You can’t ask someone to trust you, trust your judgement, when it has been so wrong in the past.

I’m almost glad that the unavoidable decision will be made without my input because they know what’s best for me, even if I don’t even know it myself any more. Peacefully fading away from the world into the darkness seems better than facing the reality of my seemingly pathetic life as it flashes before my eyes in a cliché of impending doom.

As if I need reminding.

Edward POV

“I wish I could stay, but then, I wish for much impossibility in this life. A life I share with you, my love. And I so dearly want to keep it that way - as much as your charts protest.”

I pause to stroke her cold cheek, but fear overrides this action, as the pulsating blood winds through the veins protruding from her neck and I quiver, my throat blazing.

I frantically gasp, and freeze as familiar footsteps prance through room accompanied by an assortment of irritatingly cheerful thoughts. She sees my unmoving figure and tuts disapprovingly as I sink back into the plastic chair.

“Edward.” She chirps, gazing at me with disappointment.

I look at the scuffed floor. She knows I can’t waste time; she knew this was the final goodbye before I leave. She sighs.

When was your last meal? Her thoughts flicker as she searches through.

“Leave it Alice.” I say.

It was no use; she persists and finds the day exactly, sighing again. There is an unfamiliar silence and Alice staggers onto the bed as I grasp her arm, diverting her before she falls onto Bella.

“What? What have you seen?” I demand, but see her eyes are blank and steady her until she blinks repeatedly. She gulps her mind rapidly flicking through a series of images too fast to focus on, before straightening up.

“You need to drink, Edward.” She says sternly, shaking my hold of her arm

“I know, but I...” I say; she holds her hand to my mouth.

“You need your strength if you are to find her,” She states.

“When I find her.” I correct and she smiles encouragingly.

“Edward?” She asks expectantly.

She must know that there is no chance I will leave Bella’s side to drink when there is a murderous vampire rampaging nearby. Alice clears her throat and I glance at her firm expression – she knows I haven’t made the decision to quench my thirst yet, and the anticipation is frustrating her.

Edward, I am not stupid.

“I know.” I smirk. She rolls her eyes.

I can’t wait here forever.

I sigh, defeated. “Fine. I’ll drink on the way.”

She nods, pleased with the certainty of my statement.

“Remember, Edward, I’ll know if you don’t.”

She smiles angelically and dances from the room. I sometimes wish my sister was not so hard to convince. I hear her drive down the darkening road and I close the pale curtains, hiding the night's shadows from Bella.

“Where was I? Oh yes, I remember now. Your vitals, Miss Swan, need a bit more effort.” I chuckle, imagining her protesting in a huff of adorable frustration. “Don’t worry, my darling, I'm just joking with you.” I say, but feel automatically embarrassed by this statement – she probably can't hear me at all.

I glance cautiously at the pile of funeral care cuttings from Charlie’s newspaper with red scrawls, helpfully penned by Renee as they discussed Bella’s future. It feels like I am being unfaithful to Bella, just looking at them makes my stomach churn. I should shred them immediately – we won’t require any of their services – but some distant part of my conscience stops me. One question hangs despondently in my head as I sprint from the hospital into the night. What if this is the end?

'The course of true love never did run smooth'

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

With her bleeding heart ablaze with the fulfilling promise of demented vengeance, the figure tore the plug from the wall with such vigour that the socket flickered with electricity. As she dove back through the broken window, throwing the limp body carelessly onto her shoulder, glass shards soared through the violent mist, the entangled debris glistening amongst the fiery mass of crimson locks flying behind her shadowy silhouette. Casting a final malicious glance at the path of devastation behind her, she cackled spitefully and vanished into the threatening shadows.

As the moonlight slashed grimly into the barren room, wires crackling furiously, coloured tubes leaking fluids onto the bloodstained linen, tattered curtains trembling in the wind through the broken pane… a machine emitting a high pitched tone echoed menacingly into the silent corridor.

Bella POV

For once I am glad I’m not ‘awake’, but the constant threat that I might emerge from this coma at any moment is more terrifying than my earlier worries of dying in my sleep. There are so many unfamiliar noises that startle me every minute, but the worst sound is the most familiar; her voice. She keeps talking to me as though I am her hostage, forced into this constant silence, and I have a strange feeling she has duck-taped my mouth to be sure I am quiet. It is like she knows something I don’t, which is even more stressful as I don’t even know what she is capable of doing.

I wish Edward had never left so that I would be more prepared for this confrontation with someone as powerful as her. I wish Edward were here, protecting me from her impending torture.

“James was utterly magnificent – far more so than your petty, meaningless, little, schoolgirl crush. He would be here if he cared about you, wouldn’t he?” She spat.

You’re right, I feel like crying out. I’m useless, draining them of all their time.

“But you could never understand the full pain I’m going through, you’re just a child. You have no idea how much it hurts every single day, NO IDEA!” She shrieked.

She pacing around me now, smashing anything she can get her hands on. I keep hearing objects soar past my head. If the situation were reversed, knowing my sporting abilities she’d be knocked out again as soon as she awoke.

“He should suffer as much as I have to. And this is where you come in.” She hisses, sounding almost gleeful. “You shall die for James. Your precious Edward shall feel what I feel, know my pain for himself. And I shall watch and laugh as he cries over your weak, broken little body, as he mourns the loss of your pitiful life.”

No! Please! I’m begging you! I shout, but no sound comes out – disappointing, but it’s not like I was expecting anything to happen. It feels like I’ll be stuck in this half of the world forever. I lie and wait for her threats to come true.

Alice POV

Six hours earlier.

“He’s not going to drink. Honestly, I don’t know why I bother.” I announce, Jasper smiles and gently kisses my forehead.

“It’s because you’re so wonderful, my darling.” he whispers.

“I wouldn’t worry too much, he knows how I hate it when he’s snappy and that’s only when he misses his meals. He’ll be golden before he returns.” Esme reassures me. I look at her doubtfully, but Jasper senses my unease, and I suddenly forget about it.

“I can’t avoid it, I haven’t seen anything yet and it’s disconcerting. I need to see something, anything will do, just... something!”

“And you will Alice. But until then, I am going to make you feel better by any means - and you won’t be able to stop me,” He grins. I sink my head into his shoulder, drawing circles with my fingertips on his collarbone. I hope everything is okay, Edward. I think, just in case.

“I had a vision.” I say quietly, the room falls silent. Esme looks at me expectantly.

“It was about Edward, but it was difficult to make out – everything was blurring and it faded too fast to be a definite prophecy.” I pause as Jasper strokes my head.

“It wasn’t obvious what would cause the event, but all I could see was Edward covered in blood.” I wait as Carlisle sighs, exchanging a look with Esme.

“What sort of blood are we talking of?” He asks, frowning.

“Human.”

“Well, we’re lucky he’s been warned. Fighting on an empty stomach would be ridiculous, I thought I’d taught him that – It’s so unlike him”

“The things we do for love,” Esme sighs.

I hold Jasper tightly as they leave the room. After a few moments he turns my head to face his and cups my cheeks in his hands. I roll my eyes.

“Yes, there’s more.” I say, defeated.

“Alice, why did you think you could fool me?” He smiles briefly.

“It’s just, I couldn’t see something…” I drift off. He looks at me curiously.

I shrug out of his grasp and walk to look out of the window as he follows.

“You don’t usually see the whole event, my love.” He whispers in my ear and wraps his arms around my waist. You don’t understand I feel like saying.

“Alice?” He asks.

“I didn’t see his eyes –I’m sure it’s nothing, but,”

“It will be nothing, don’t worry yourself.” He comforts.

“But what if, if it is important. I have no idea what colour his irises were,” I sigh, suddenly feeling a sense of calm and serenity wash through me. “Jasper! I’m serious, what if he wasn’t hungry?” I cross my arms, stepping away from him, but he twirls me around so our noses almost touch and I can’t help but stare at his adorable puppy-dog eyes. “Fine, you’re right. I give in.” I say, falling onto his lips. I can be so easily distracted, I think, but who wouldn’t with him wrapped around you! I grin to myself.

Victoria POV

I should take her back; I’m not a psychopath – what was I even thinking? But I remember... and thousands of jagged icicles plummet straight through my heart and I keel over, clutching my chest. With his magnificent crooked smile, dazzling skin, glorious laughter singing with mine, muscular arms encasing me in his perfection. Those adorable ears – oh, how he hated their tiny size – unnoticed when surrounded by his heavenly flowing locks.

Like any other male, longing for things he could not have, he followed me for weeks trying to get me to go on our first date. I refused, but he kept persisting and pleading me until I could not resist. He was so determined, never giving up! Oh, how I hoped I could withstand his charming behaviour, so gracious and polite, but there was a pull, too magnetic about him.

My friends warned me – ‘he’s trouble’ they'd say, but this danger made him more alluring. I wanted to reform him; influenced by fairytale endings and the feminine desire that with the right love and care you can change any man. They told me to stay away, but forbidden events enticed me even more.

When my clan found out, they told me to leave him. ‘Forget about him, he’s not good for you’ they said. But how could I forget? They made us move around, but each time he followed, begging and pleading. I wanted his affections so much; I wanted to feel adored, needed. We had an eternity ahead of us, young lovers, so we ran away together. I left my life behind, safe and secure, for the freedom of travelling.

When I admitted that his affections were mutual, he changed completely. He had claimed his prize.

I was discarded, like a child leaving the toy they’d played with for years to gather dust on the shelf. All of our passion, his attention and adoration… vanished.

Why didn’t I leave him? They wondered. I wish I had the strength. I watched him invite the affections of hundreds of beautiful girls, seemingly oblivious of our relationship. I felt so helpless, so human. They say it takes absence to appreciate presence. Well, in his death; I lost half of my life. Our memories. Why didn’t I leave him?

It took his loss, to finally realize why I put up with so much more than anyone would have, why I watched him break the hearts of countless people, why I left my life behind to follow him.

Love.

Chapter 5: Fighting

Chapter 5: Fighting

Bella POV

I can feel the tension in the room when I awake about a week after Edward’s return. At first I can't figure out what's wrong. Then the voices begin.

“What are you doing here?”

That's Edward.

“What are you doing here?”

Jake. Oh God, this can not end well.

“I love her.”

“So why did you leave?”

“To protect her.”

Silence. I wish I could see them. I’m worried that they're going to do something stupid, like start fighting in the middle of the hospital. Everything Jacob told me about werewolves and vampires being natural enemies floods my mind. I have to struggle to put aside my panic so I can listen to them. Jake speaks next.

“That makes no sense.” He sounds frustrated. “If you want to protect her, wouldn't you be more useful here?”

Edward sighs. “It's not other people I want to protect her from. Well, it is, but they are people who are drawn to her because of me. I've put her in danger over and over, just by being in the same room. My brother nearly killed her on her birthday; that's what prompted our move. She's in too much danger around us. She's not safe. I just want her to be safe, and human, and happy...” He trails off.

Jacob scoffs lightly. “Two out of three. Too bad you didn't manage the last one.”

Another pause. “You think she is happy with you.” It's not a question; it's a statement of fact. Because of course, Edward knows Jacob's thoughts better than he knows them himself.

“Jesus, how did that not drive her insane? Just because you hear people's thoughts, you think you know everything!”

Edward scoffs. “I don't know everything. Far from it. And I can't hear Bella. I don't know why; I’ve just never been able to.”

“Huh.” is all Jacob says in reply. They are silent for a long time. I focus in on my surroundings, tying to figure out where they are. Something cold grips the fingers of my right hand, so Edward must be near. I think I feel more warmth on my left side, near where the door is, where the doctors voices always come from. Perhaps Jacob is standing by the door, or leaning against the wall. Yes, that must be it. Jake against the wall, by the door, arms crossed in front of him, and Edward sat in a little plastic chair at my side, holding my hand. I can see it clearly in my head.

Suddenly, there is a loud clatter as the chair falls to the floor. The cool pressure of Edward’s hand vanishes.

“You did what?” he growls. I panic. What did Jacob do? What did he think of that has made Edward so angry.

“I just wanted to see if it would work. Everything is so much like a fairy tale nowadays, I figured it couldn't hurt.” Jacob replies, nonchalant as always.
“You kissed her!” Edward very nearly shouts.

He did WHAT! I don't remember that! Why would Jake think that kissing me would help? And what does her mean about fairy tales? The answer comes as I form the question. Sleeping Beauty; the princess in a deep slumber, woken by true love's kiss.

Jacob is either completely dumb or a very poor judge of body language. Or perhaps he's just deluded himself into thinking there was something between us. Whatever the reason, he's got nerve to try something like that. He's talking now. I listen, wanting to know what the mutt has to say for himself.

“I don't see why you're getting so steamed about it. You weren't here. As far as she knows, you don't even care any more. She knows I’ll take care of her.”

Edward snarls. I’m panicking again. They're going to fight, I can feel it. One of them will get hurt, most likely Jake, and it will be all my fault, and I can't do anything to stop it. I curse whatever it is that holds me trapped in my head. Let me out! I scream, but no sound comes out. Nothing happens.

“Think you can take me, bloodsucker?” Jacob taunts him. “Think you got what it takes?”
“I have killed more than a hundred people, mongrel, many more than you have. I could kill you before you had the chance to realise that was my intention. Please don't tempt me. I have a feeling Bella would never forgive me if her 'best friend' were to die at my hand.” Edward’s voice is low and menacing, still tinged with a light growl.,

Jake laughs. “Bring it, leech.”

More growling, both of them now. I can almost see Jacob shuddering, preparing to phase. Would they really fight in the middle of the hospital? I know the answer already; yes, yes they would.

“Stop it!” Alice’s voice suddenly shouts. She must have just come in. “You're both being absurd. Fighting isn't going to help Bella, or anyone else for that matter. So how about we all calm down and talk about this like rational people, hmm?”

“He kissed her Alice.” Edward growls.

“And did anything happen? No. He tried, he failed. Now stop being silly.”

Thank you God, for putting Alice on this Earth. She has successfully diffused what could have been a violent, vicious, and potentially deadly conflict that could have exposed both the Cullens and the wolves, based on the testosterone fuelled squabbling of a pair of teenagers. She will forever have my gratitude.

“I’m out of here,” Jacob says, “Have fun talking to a corpse. If she won't wake up for us, I doubt there's anything that can fix her.”

The door slams. I feel like crying, because Jake has given up. He doesn't believe I’m coming back. Well, let him mope. I don't care. I will come back. I will wake up.

As soon as I figure out how.

Chapter 4: Regret

Chapter 4: Regret

Bella POV

I wish I knew the date. Normally, I would wake up to hear Charlie watching the sport, his feet resting on my bed, leaning back in the chair as it creaks under the weight. He’d flick through the channels in the breaks, chewing the cold remains of the pizza he’d bought, as I listened, waiting as he paused between the news channels during the breaks.

It was an irritating routine of his back home, eventually I’d take the remote when it was on the reports near Forks, turn the volume up and go back to the kitchen and continue with dinner. I never saw the point in listening to other news reports, until I met the Cullens. Sometimes, when Charlie was out fishing, I would flick through until I found the US News and wait. My ears would prick at the sound of ‘suspicious circumstances’ and I would dart through to see the location. It was a habit I’d picked up with them; Carlisle checked the local murders and deaths each day, making sure everything was ordinary; human.

After he… they left, I carried on listening, widening my search to the East coast, Mexico and even Canada. I tried to kid myself it was for the right reasons – identifying the abnormalities in abductions, checking for unusual deaths, but I always knew why I kept looking. After they left it was my only connection to them, to him. I had a piece of their existence, something to remind me of them, to tell me that they’re still out there and that they were, hopefully, watching out for me in Forks. My guardian angels...

However, today was the exception – apart from a woman, who had vacuumed the floor, mumbling about some soil near my bed, I was alone. Maggie had left on Wednesday, packed up and went as soon as the doctors let her go, so the bed next to me was bare. I had become accustomed to hearing the rustle of events behind the curtain, listening to her soft voice as she talked to George about their daughter. She was about my age, Maggie had told Edward, and we should be good friends when I wake up - if I wake up, he’d corrected.

From the uncertainty in his voice, you’d think I was already dead.

Jacob POV

It’s so hard to get rid of them, when they’re in your head all the time. They’re chasing me now, but I can’t face them yet. I shouldn’t have let my guard down – two weeks of selective thoughts and I slip up tonight. I wish they’d just let it go, it was a mistake and I of all people know that it should never have happened.

Jake! How could you be so stupid? Sam calls.

Yeah, seriously dude, Bella? Jared questions.

Damn, Jake, she’s in a coma! Embry yells.

I think of all the machines and wires, the charts, the disinfectant. It’s still hard to picture Bells in the centre of it, looking so pale and fragile. What was I thinking?

At least she was unconscious. Paul and Jared laugh.

What were you thinking, Jake? Embry asks accusingly. I can almost feel their eyes boring into me, judging me for that stupid mistake.

I, I can explain. I say, skidding in the dirt.

You wanted to be prince charming, Jake? Paul sniggers.

Yeah, the magic kiss wakes your princess? Jared adds, laughing.

Dude, isn’t she the bloodsucker’s girl? Embry says.

Hey, you’ve basically kissed that bloodsucker! Paul shouts, his laugh echoing in the trees.

Jared pictures me and that thing and I skid to a halt, glaring menacingly at Paul.

Shut up Paul! You’ve got no idea!! I turn to him, shaking with fury.

It didn’t change, did it Jake? Your fairytale ending’s failed, hasn’t it? Jared snorts.

Leave him. Sam says.

I wouldn’t want to stay with that thing anyway. Jared spits.

Yeah, it’s disgusting. Paul declares, glaring at me.

You better have a good explanation for this Jacob. Sam commands, turning around.

The others follow Sam as I watch helplessly, torn between following. Embry’s last glance on the horizon almost makes me burst into tears. Almost...

Edward POV

He hasn’t left your side, has barely touched his food, bless him. I meet her teary gaze as her eyes search my face and she sighs, returning her stare to her silent daughter. I clench my mouth in envy as tears drip from her moist cheeks. It does not take many visitors to remind me that I cannot cry. I continue scrutinizing the chart in my hands as Renee wipes her sodden cheeks with the back of her sleeve. 

I’ve still got your hand, honey, do you know? She pleads desperately. I’ve been waiting for you to squeeze it back, to show me you’re still there, that you’re listening to me.

She coughs, as if to speak, but her mouth runs dry and words are replaced with trembling breaths caught in her throat.

‘Sorry’ she mouths, stumbling from the room to embrace Phil, leaning awkwardly at the doorway. I clench my mouth, throat blazing as their intoxicating scents combine delectably on my tongue.

“Make sure he eats something,” Renee mumbles, head resting on Phil’s shoulder as Alice glides through the room. I gesture towards the chart as she perches on the bed, studying my face. I hear Phil shuffle with Renee into the corridor and inhale deeply.

“You can’t stay with her fore-” Alice begins. I interrupt by throwing the chart at her.

“There is a confusing decrease in her vitals with no logical explanation.”

“She’s been on new medication recently,” Alice smiles encouragingly. “Only Bella could manage to baffle the doctors in her sleep.” She’ll wake up soon, Edward.

But of course, she is not asleep, for in her sweet slumber the soft call of her voice would break through the sheets. Through these countless nights, the stillness of her dreaming still slashes at my bleeding mind. I want to join you; my darling, I will follow you into the darkness. You will not be alone.

Chapter 3: Dreams

Chapter 3: Dreams

Bella POV

I drift in and out of awareness, almost like sleep and wakefulness. Though how you can be awake with your eyes closed I don't know. Whenever I can, I try to move, try to make my body obey me, but it won't listen. Just one finger, I plead, but nothing happens. It's always the same, every time I 'wake up'. The only thing that changes are the people; the voices I hear talking.

Sometimes it's the doctor.

“She's still stable, but I don't like the look of these figures.”

Or it might be Charlie.

“Come on Bells, you can do this. You can fight this. Just wake up. Please, don't leave me like this, you can't...”

Yesterday, it was Jacob.

“I'm so sorry Bella. If only I’d been there sooner. You wouldn't be like this. You'd be ok. Stupid red-headed bloodsucker, she ruined everything.”

But, most of the time, the first voice I hear is Alice. I don't know if she leaves, or if she can tell that I can hear her, but she always seems to start talking just when I come part way back to reality. She's never halfway through a sentence or just finished and saying goodbye, like Charlie sometimes is. And she always starts the same way.

“He's on his way Bella. He'll be here soon.”

That's the only thing keeping me going; the knowledge that Edward will be here soon. I don't even care that he's probably only coming to help Alice. I can almost make myself believe that he's coming because he cares about me.

I don't know how long I’ve been here. I don't know if it's day or night. There's no lightening of my eyelids. Just the bright light high above me, where all the voices come from. I can't be sure, but I think they're getting fainter. That scares me. I don't want them to fade away; I don't want to lose touch with life and slip away.

That's just when I’m 'awake' though. When I sleep, I dream.

One of the only positives of the accident: I think those rocks knocked my nightmares clean out of my head. There's no more wandering aimlessly through forests, looking for something that isn't there.

My dreams are happy now. I remember all the happy times in my life; the cookies Renee and I tried to bake when I was seven that somehow ended up on the ceiling; the time Charlie fished me a little crab out of one of the tide pools; my last summer in California before I moved to Forks, Renee laughing with Phil, Charlie smiling despite himself, his arm around my shoulder as we walk along the beach. Then, more recent; the first time I ever talked to Edward; visiting the meadow, his skin sparkling in the sunshine; spending time at his family's house; his voice when he saved me from James; the whole gloriously rainy summer before senior year; my birthday, minus the whole near-death experience thing.

Other times, my dreams are entirely fictional. I dream of Edward, of course. I dream that he is back, and I am awake. I dream of him telling me everything he said was wrong, that he made a mistake, that he loves me and he wants me. All these impossible things that will never really happen.

Then, one day, I wake up, and there is no noise. No voices at least. Not even a rustling of sheets from the bed next to me. I know there was a woman there; Maggie, her husband called her. Maybe she's asleep, or she went home. I hope she's alright. But she's not here now, and the only sound is the beeping of my heart monitor, the hissing sound of the oxygen pump that keeps me breathing, and the gentle whir of the machine monitoring my brain activity as it prints out an endless stream of results.

Can it be that I’m alone, for once? Maybe I should be relieved; peace and quiet, at last. But I’m not. I want someone here, I want to hear a voice... I don't want to be alone.

Then I hear it. It's very quiet, almost silent, nearly drowned out by the sounds of the machines, but I still hear. Even, gentle breathing. The only kind of breathing that comes from someone who doesn't need it. It's so familiar, and I instantly know why. I fell asleep to the sound of it who knows how many times over the summer.

Edward is here.

Now that I know this, I wonder how I didn't realise it before. I can feel his presence, almost see him sitting beside me... but I can't actually see. My view is still only that white light. It doesn't seem so far away, and the sounds around me are clearer. Hope springs up in me before I can stop it, and I decide to take advantage of my enhanced sensitivity. I listen intently to the world around me. I will him to speak.

“Bella.”

It's a broken whisper, barely more than a breath, but just the sound of his voice sends a thrill through me. All of a sudden, the pain is all gone. I don't care that I can't move, because I want to stay right here. The hole in my chest is all closed up, like it was never there in the first place. I feel perfect.

He's still speaking. His breathing is less even; it hitches and shifts, like he's holding back sobs.

“Oh Bella, I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. For this, for everything. You have no idea. You probably can't even hear me. God, I’m so stupid.”

He lapses into silence and, for once, I wish he could read my mind. Or, if not, that I could speak. I wouldn't mind being paralysed if I could just talk. But I can't. Still, I think what I would say, if I could.

You're not stupid! You're the smartest, sweetest, kindest person I’ve ever met in my life. I can hear every word you say, and I want... no, I need you to talk to me. Tell me what you're sorry for, not that it matters; I will always forgive you. Tell me what you've been doing. Tell me why you came back. Tell me anything! Just keep talking, please.

I wonder if he can hear me, because he seems to be responding to my silent pleas.

“Bella... you probably don't want to hear this. You'll probably think it's all just bad excuses and lies. Why wouldn't you? I’ve lied before. But I have to tell you, whether you hear me or not; my conscience won't let me rest until I say it.” Edward takes a deep breath. I wait.

“That day in the forest... I lied Bella. Every word I said was a lie. My kind do not experience change often, and when we do, it is permanent and complete. You changed me Bella. After almost 90 years of not knowing I was missing anything, you brought me to life. I could never stop loving you, even if I wanted to; and believe me, I don't.”

I can't believe what I’m hearing. Is he saying what I think he's saying? Could he possibly still care about me? Still love me? My mind is spinning, so I only just hear him as he speaks again.

“When Alice called... I thought something horrible had happened. That there was a problem with my family. I never imagined there could be anything worse than that. But this is... so much worse. No matter how my heart is calmed to see your face and smell your scent and hear your heartbeat, it's not the same. I can't see your beautiful eyes, or hear your delicious laugh, or take you in my arms and hold on tight. If I never have the chance to do that again...” His voice chokes off abruptly, and I ache to comfort him.

“I mustn’t think that way. Alice told me not to, and she'll have my head if she realises I have. But she can't see anything, and it's driving both of us crazy. Whether you can forgive me or not, even if you never want to see me ever again, I need you to be ok. Not knowing if you're going to make it... it's killing me Bella. I haven't felt this scared since I thought I’d lost you to James.”

I mentally shudder at the memory. I remember every time I thought I wouldn't see Edward again. The time with James, of course, in the ballet studio in Phoenix... the disastrous day he left me... when Laurent nearly got me in the meadow, before Jacob and the rest of the pack showed up...

I wonder if it is as bad for me as it is for him, or if it's worse. Maybe it's me who has the worst experience; I’m never sure if I am enough to hold him. Maybe he's just guilty now, and he'll leave again when I wake up.

If you wake up, that annoying, self-doubting voice in my head mocks me. She has a point, much as I hate to admit it. The doctors think I don't hear them, don't see a change in the readings they get when I am 'awake', so they don't hide anything. As long as Charlie isn't around, they say whatever they want. I’ve heard them talk about declining vitals, decreasing levels of brain activity, new medication, different fluids in my IV. I tend to shut down a little, when I can. I can't seem to control when I drift off. I can't sleep when I want to, and when I want to stay awake, the blackness pulls me under.

Like now.

Edward isn't talking any more, just sobbing and whispering my name every now and then, and my subconscious has decided to shut down for the foreseeable future. As I am dragged further into the darkness, and that white light of reality fades away no matter how hard I try to cling to it, I have only one thought.

Edward. Don't leave. Be here when I wake up again.

Nothing else matters, as long as he stays. Nothing in the world.