Chapter 6: Wishes

Chapter 6: Wishes

Bella POV

There isn’t much left for me to think about but, still, in some part of my subconscious.,I know there is something to contemplate. A spark of distant memories, buried away in here, waiting for their rediscovery. I’m growing weaker; my energy is dissolving into the tubes and being flushed from my system. Millions of those important seconds, slipping away with each breath. Even he has no hope, not an inkling of optimistic longing. I thought – it’s incredibly naïve, I know – that if anyone would have some faith in me, it would be him. I feel so stupid now; of course I know it’s too much to ask, considering the state I’m in. You can’t ask someone to trust you, trust your judgement, when it has been so wrong in the past.

I’m almost glad that the unavoidable decision will be made without my input because they know what’s best for me, even if I don’t even know it myself any more. Peacefully fading away from the world into the darkness seems better than facing the reality of my seemingly pathetic life as it flashes before my eyes in a cliché of impending doom.

As if I need reminding.

Edward POV

“I wish I could stay, but then, I wish for much impossibility in this life. A life I share with you, my love. And I so dearly want to keep it that way - as much as your charts protest.”

I pause to stroke her cold cheek, but fear overrides this action, as the pulsating blood winds through the veins protruding from her neck and I quiver, my throat blazing.

I frantically gasp, and freeze as familiar footsteps prance through room accompanied by an assortment of irritatingly cheerful thoughts. She sees my unmoving figure and tuts disapprovingly as I sink back into the plastic chair.

“Edward.” She chirps, gazing at me with disappointment.

I look at the scuffed floor. She knows I can’t waste time; she knew this was the final goodbye before I leave. She sighs.

When was your last meal? Her thoughts flicker as she searches through.

“Leave it Alice.” I say.

It was no use; she persists and finds the day exactly, sighing again. There is an unfamiliar silence and Alice staggers onto the bed as I grasp her arm, diverting her before she falls onto Bella.

“What? What have you seen?” I demand, but see her eyes are blank and steady her until she blinks repeatedly. She gulps her mind rapidly flicking through a series of images too fast to focus on, before straightening up.

“You need to drink, Edward.” She says sternly, shaking my hold of her arm

“I know, but I...” I say; she holds her hand to my mouth.

“You need your strength if you are to find her,” She states.

“When I find her.” I correct and she smiles encouragingly.

“Edward?” She asks expectantly.

She must know that there is no chance I will leave Bella’s side to drink when there is a murderous vampire rampaging nearby. Alice clears her throat and I glance at her firm expression – she knows I haven’t made the decision to quench my thirst yet, and the anticipation is frustrating her.

Edward, I am not stupid.

“I know.” I smirk. She rolls her eyes.

I can’t wait here forever.

I sigh, defeated. “Fine. I’ll drink on the way.”

She nods, pleased with the certainty of my statement.

“Remember, Edward, I’ll know if you don’t.”

She smiles angelically and dances from the room. I sometimes wish my sister was not so hard to convince. I hear her drive down the darkening road and I close the pale curtains, hiding the night's shadows from Bella.

“Where was I? Oh yes, I remember now. Your vitals, Miss Swan, need a bit more effort.” I chuckle, imagining her protesting in a huff of adorable frustration. “Don’t worry, my darling, I'm just joking with you.” I say, but feel automatically embarrassed by this statement – she probably can't hear me at all.

I glance cautiously at the pile of funeral care cuttings from Charlie’s newspaper with red scrawls, helpfully penned by Renee as they discussed Bella’s future. It feels like I am being unfaithful to Bella, just looking at them makes my stomach churn. I should shred them immediately – we won’t require any of their services – but some distant part of my conscience stops me. One question hangs despondently in my head as I sprint from the hospital into the night. What if this is the end?

'The course of true love never did run smooth'

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

With her bleeding heart ablaze with the fulfilling promise of demented vengeance, the figure tore the plug from the wall with such vigour that the socket flickered with electricity. As she dove back through the broken window, throwing the limp body carelessly onto her shoulder, glass shards soared through the violent mist, the entangled debris glistening amongst the fiery mass of crimson locks flying behind her shadowy silhouette. Casting a final malicious glance at the path of devastation behind her, she cackled spitefully and vanished into the threatening shadows.

As the moonlight slashed grimly into the barren room, wires crackling furiously, coloured tubes leaking fluids onto the bloodstained linen, tattered curtains trembling in the wind through the broken pane… a machine emitting a high pitched tone echoed menacingly into the silent corridor.

Bella POV

For once I am glad I’m not ‘awake’, but the constant threat that I might emerge from this coma at any moment is more terrifying than my earlier worries of dying in my sleep. There are so many unfamiliar noises that startle me every minute, but the worst sound is the most familiar; her voice. She keeps talking to me as though I am her hostage, forced into this constant silence, and I have a strange feeling she has duck-taped my mouth to be sure I am quiet. It is like she knows something I don’t, which is even more stressful as I don’t even know what she is capable of doing.

I wish Edward had never left so that I would be more prepared for this confrontation with someone as powerful as her. I wish Edward were here, protecting me from her impending torture.

“James was utterly magnificent – far more so than your petty, meaningless, little, schoolgirl crush. He would be here if he cared about you, wouldn’t he?” She spat.

You’re right, I feel like crying out. I’m useless, draining them of all their time.

“But you could never understand the full pain I’m going through, you’re just a child. You have no idea how much it hurts every single day, NO IDEA!” She shrieked.

She pacing around me now, smashing anything she can get her hands on. I keep hearing objects soar past my head. If the situation were reversed, knowing my sporting abilities she’d be knocked out again as soon as she awoke.

“He should suffer as much as I have to. And this is where you come in.” She hisses, sounding almost gleeful. “You shall die for James. Your precious Edward shall feel what I feel, know my pain for himself. And I shall watch and laugh as he cries over your weak, broken little body, as he mourns the loss of your pitiful life.”

No! Please! I’m begging you! I shout, but no sound comes out – disappointing, but it’s not like I was expecting anything to happen. It feels like I’ll be stuck in this half of the world forever. I lie and wait for her threats to come true.

Alice POV

Six hours earlier.

“He’s not going to drink. Honestly, I don’t know why I bother.” I announce, Jasper smiles and gently kisses my forehead.

“It’s because you’re so wonderful, my darling.” he whispers.

“I wouldn’t worry too much, he knows how I hate it when he’s snappy and that’s only when he misses his meals. He’ll be golden before he returns.” Esme reassures me. I look at her doubtfully, but Jasper senses my unease, and I suddenly forget about it.

“I can’t avoid it, I haven’t seen anything yet and it’s disconcerting. I need to see something, anything will do, just... something!”

“And you will Alice. But until then, I am going to make you feel better by any means - and you won’t be able to stop me,” He grins. I sink my head into his shoulder, drawing circles with my fingertips on his collarbone. I hope everything is okay, Edward. I think, just in case.

“I had a vision.” I say quietly, the room falls silent. Esme looks at me expectantly.

“It was about Edward, but it was difficult to make out – everything was blurring and it faded too fast to be a definite prophecy.” I pause as Jasper strokes my head.

“It wasn’t obvious what would cause the event, but all I could see was Edward covered in blood.” I wait as Carlisle sighs, exchanging a look with Esme.

“What sort of blood are we talking of?” He asks, frowning.

“Human.”

“Well, we’re lucky he’s been warned. Fighting on an empty stomach would be ridiculous, I thought I’d taught him that – It’s so unlike him”

“The things we do for love,” Esme sighs.

I hold Jasper tightly as they leave the room. After a few moments he turns my head to face his and cups my cheeks in his hands. I roll my eyes.

“Yes, there’s more.” I say, defeated.

“Alice, why did you think you could fool me?” He smiles briefly.

“It’s just, I couldn’t see something…” I drift off. He looks at me curiously.

I shrug out of his grasp and walk to look out of the window as he follows.

“You don’t usually see the whole event, my love.” He whispers in my ear and wraps his arms around my waist. You don’t understand I feel like saying.

“Alice?” He asks.

“I didn’t see his eyes –I’m sure it’s nothing, but,”

“It will be nothing, don’t worry yourself.” He comforts.

“But what if, if it is important. I have no idea what colour his irises were,” I sigh, suddenly feeling a sense of calm and serenity wash through me. “Jasper! I’m serious, what if he wasn’t hungry?” I cross my arms, stepping away from him, but he twirls me around so our noses almost touch and I can’t help but stare at his adorable puppy-dog eyes. “Fine, you’re right. I give in.” I say, falling onto his lips. I can be so easily distracted, I think, but who wouldn’t with him wrapped around you! I grin to myself.

Victoria POV

I should take her back; I’m not a psychopath – what was I even thinking? But I remember... and thousands of jagged icicles plummet straight through my heart and I keel over, clutching my chest. With his magnificent crooked smile, dazzling skin, glorious laughter singing with mine, muscular arms encasing me in his perfection. Those adorable ears – oh, how he hated their tiny size – unnoticed when surrounded by his heavenly flowing locks.

Like any other male, longing for things he could not have, he followed me for weeks trying to get me to go on our first date. I refused, but he kept persisting and pleading me until I could not resist. He was so determined, never giving up! Oh, how I hoped I could withstand his charming behaviour, so gracious and polite, but there was a pull, too magnetic about him.

My friends warned me – ‘he’s trouble’ they'd say, but this danger made him more alluring. I wanted to reform him; influenced by fairytale endings and the feminine desire that with the right love and care you can change any man. They told me to stay away, but forbidden events enticed me even more.

When my clan found out, they told me to leave him. ‘Forget about him, he’s not good for you’ they said. But how could I forget? They made us move around, but each time he followed, begging and pleading. I wanted his affections so much; I wanted to feel adored, needed. We had an eternity ahead of us, young lovers, so we ran away together. I left my life behind, safe and secure, for the freedom of travelling.

When I admitted that his affections were mutual, he changed completely. He had claimed his prize.

I was discarded, like a child leaving the toy they’d played with for years to gather dust on the shelf. All of our passion, his attention and adoration… vanished.

Why didn’t I leave him? They wondered. I wish I had the strength. I watched him invite the affections of hundreds of beautiful girls, seemingly oblivious of our relationship. I felt so helpless, so human. They say it takes absence to appreciate presence. Well, in his death; I lost half of my life. Our memories. Why didn’t I leave him?

It took his loss, to finally realize why I put up with so much more than anyone would have, why I watched him break the hearts of countless people, why I left my life behind to follow him.

Love.

Chapter 5: Fighting

Chapter 5: Fighting

Bella POV

I can feel the tension in the room when I awake about a week after Edward’s return. At first I can't figure out what's wrong. Then the voices begin.

“What are you doing here?”

That's Edward.

“What are you doing here?”

Jake. Oh God, this can not end well.

“I love her.”

“So why did you leave?”

“To protect her.”

Silence. I wish I could see them. I’m worried that they're going to do something stupid, like start fighting in the middle of the hospital. Everything Jacob told me about werewolves and vampires being natural enemies floods my mind. I have to struggle to put aside my panic so I can listen to them. Jake speaks next.

“That makes no sense.” He sounds frustrated. “If you want to protect her, wouldn't you be more useful here?”

Edward sighs. “It's not other people I want to protect her from. Well, it is, but they are people who are drawn to her because of me. I've put her in danger over and over, just by being in the same room. My brother nearly killed her on her birthday; that's what prompted our move. She's in too much danger around us. She's not safe. I just want her to be safe, and human, and happy...” He trails off.

Jacob scoffs lightly. “Two out of three. Too bad you didn't manage the last one.”

Another pause. “You think she is happy with you.” It's not a question; it's a statement of fact. Because of course, Edward knows Jacob's thoughts better than he knows them himself.

“Jesus, how did that not drive her insane? Just because you hear people's thoughts, you think you know everything!”

Edward scoffs. “I don't know everything. Far from it. And I can't hear Bella. I don't know why; I’ve just never been able to.”

“Huh.” is all Jacob says in reply. They are silent for a long time. I focus in on my surroundings, tying to figure out where they are. Something cold grips the fingers of my right hand, so Edward must be near. I think I feel more warmth on my left side, near where the door is, where the doctors voices always come from. Perhaps Jacob is standing by the door, or leaning against the wall. Yes, that must be it. Jake against the wall, by the door, arms crossed in front of him, and Edward sat in a little plastic chair at my side, holding my hand. I can see it clearly in my head.

Suddenly, there is a loud clatter as the chair falls to the floor. The cool pressure of Edward’s hand vanishes.

“You did what?” he growls. I panic. What did Jacob do? What did he think of that has made Edward so angry.

“I just wanted to see if it would work. Everything is so much like a fairy tale nowadays, I figured it couldn't hurt.” Jacob replies, nonchalant as always.
“You kissed her!” Edward very nearly shouts.

He did WHAT! I don't remember that! Why would Jake think that kissing me would help? And what does her mean about fairy tales? The answer comes as I form the question. Sleeping Beauty; the princess in a deep slumber, woken by true love's kiss.

Jacob is either completely dumb or a very poor judge of body language. Or perhaps he's just deluded himself into thinking there was something between us. Whatever the reason, he's got nerve to try something like that. He's talking now. I listen, wanting to know what the mutt has to say for himself.

“I don't see why you're getting so steamed about it. You weren't here. As far as she knows, you don't even care any more. She knows I’ll take care of her.”

Edward snarls. I’m panicking again. They're going to fight, I can feel it. One of them will get hurt, most likely Jake, and it will be all my fault, and I can't do anything to stop it. I curse whatever it is that holds me trapped in my head. Let me out! I scream, but no sound comes out. Nothing happens.

“Think you can take me, bloodsucker?” Jacob taunts him. “Think you got what it takes?”
“I have killed more than a hundred people, mongrel, many more than you have. I could kill you before you had the chance to realise that was my intention. Please don't tempt me. I have a feeling Bella would never forgive me if her 'best friend' were to die at my hand.” Edward’s voice is low and menacing, still tinged with a light growl.,

Jake laughs. “Bring it, leech.”

More growling, both of them now. I can almost see Jacob shuddering, preparing to phase. Would they really fight in the middle of the hospital? I know the answer already; yes, yes they would.

“Stop it!” Alice’s voice suddenly shouts. She must have just come in. “You're both being absurd. Fighting isn't going to help Bella, or anyone else for that matter. So how about we all calm down and talk about this like rational people, hmm?”

“He kissed her Alice.” Edward growls.

“And did anything happen? No. He tried, he failed. Now stop being silly.”

Thank you God, for putting Alice on this Earth. She has successfully diffused what could have been a violent, vicious, and potentially deadly conflict that could have exposed both the Cullens and the wolves, based on the testosterone fuelled squabbling of a pair of teenagers. She will forever have my gratitude.

“I’m out of here,” Jacob says, “Have fun talking to a corpse. If she won't wake up for us, I doubt there's anything that can fix her.”

The door slams. I feel like crying, because Jake has given up. He doesn't believe I’m coming back. Well, let him mope. I don't care. I will come back. I will wake up.

As soon as I figure out how.

Chapter 4: Regret

Chapter 4: Regret

Bella POV

I wish I knew the date. Normally, I would wake up to hear Charlie watching the sport, his feet resting on my bed, leaning back in the chair as it creaks under the weight. He’d flick through the channels in the breaks, chewing the cold remains of the pizza he’d bought, as I listened, waiting as he paused between the news channels during the breaks.

It was an irritating routine of his back home, eventually I’d take the remote when it was on the reports near Forks, turn the volume up and go back to the kitchen and continue with dinner. I never saw the point in listening to other news reports, until I met the Cullens. Sometimes, when Charlie was out fishing, I would flick through until I found the US News and wait. My ears would prick at the sound of ‘suspicious circumstances’ and I would dart through to see the location. It was a habit I’d picked up with them; Carlisle checked the local murders and deaths each day, making sure everything was ordinary; human.

After he… they left, I carried on listening, widening my search to the East coast, Mexico and even Canada. I tried to kid myself it was for the right reasons – identifying the abnormalities in abductions, checking for unusual deaths, but I always knew why I kept looking. After they left it was my only connection to them, to him. I had a piece of their existence, something to remind me of them, to tell me that they’re still out there and that they were, hopefully, watching out for me in Forks. My guardian angels...

However, today was the exception – apart from a woman, who had vacuumed the floor, mumbling about some soil near my bed, I was alone. Maggie had left on Wednesday, packed up and went as soon as the doctors let her go, so the bed next to me was bare. I had become accustomed to hearing the rustle of events behind the curtain, listening to her soft voice as she talked to George about their daughter. She was about my age, Maggie had told Edward, and we should be good friends when I wake up - if I wake up, he’d corrected.

From the uncertainty in his voice, you’d think I was already dead.

Jacob POV

It’s so hard to get rid of them, when they’re in your head all the time. They’re chasing me now, but I can’t face them yet. I shouldn’t have let my guard down – two weeks of selective thoughts and I slip up tonight. I wish they’d just let it go, it was a mistake and I of all people know that it should never have happened.

Jake! How could you be so stupid? Sam calls.

Yeah, seriously dude, Bella? Jared questions.

Damn, Jake, she’s in a coma! Embry yells.

I think of all the machines and wires, the charts, the disinfectant. It’s still hard to picture Bells in the centre of it, looking so pale and fragile. What was I thinking?

At least she was unconscious. Paul and Jared laugh.

What were you thinking, Jake? Embry asks accusingly. I can almost feel their eyes boring into me, judging me for that stupid mistake.

I, I can explain. I say, skidding in the dirt.

You wanted to be prince charming, Jake? Paul sniggers.

Yeah, the magic kiss wakes your princess? Jared adds, laughing.

Dude, isn’t she the bloodsucker’s girl? Embry says.

Hey, you’ve basically kissed that bloodsucker! Paul shouts, his laugh echoing in the trees.

Jared pictures me and that thing and I skid to a halt, glaring menacingly at Paul.

Shut up Paul! You’ve got no idea!! I turn to him, shaking with fury.

It didn’t change, did it Jake? Your fairytale ending’s failed, hasn’t it? Jared snorts.

Leave him. Sam says.

I wouldn’t want to stay with that thing anyway. Jared spits.

Yeah, it’s disgusting. Paul declares, glaring at me.

You better have a good explanation for this Jacob. Sam commands, turning around.

The others follow Sam as I watch helplessly, torn between following. Embry’s last glance on the horizon almost makes me burst into tears. Almost...

Edward POV

He hasn’t left your side, has barely touched his food, bless him. I meet her teary gaze as her eyes search my face and she sighs, returning her stare to her silent daughter. I clench my mouth in envy as tears drip from her moist cheeks. It does not take many visitors to remind me that I cannot cry. I continue scrutinizing the chart in my hands as Renee wipes her sodden cheeks with the back of her sleeve. 

I’ve still got your hand, honey, do you know? She pleads desperately. I’ve been waiting for you to squeeze it back, to show me you’re still there, that you’re listening to me.

She coughs, as if to speak, but her mouth runs dry and words are replaced with trembling breaths caught in her throat.

‘Sorry’ she mouths, stumbling from the room to embrace Phil, leaning awkwardly at the doorway. I clench my mouth, throat blazing as their intoxicating scents combine delectably on my tongue.

“Make sure he eats something,” Renee mumbles, head resting on Phil’s shoulder as Alice glides through the room. I gesture towards the chart as she perches on the bed, studying my face. I hear Phil shuffle with Renee into the corridor and inhale deeply.

“You can’t stay with her fore-” Alice begins. I interrupt by throwing the chart at her.

“There is a confusing decrease in her vitals with no logical explanation.”

“She’s been on new medication recently,” Alice smiles encouragingly. “Only Bella could manage to baffle the doctors in her sleep.” She’ll wake up soon, Edward.

But of course, she is not asleep, for in her sweet slumber the soft call of her voice would break through the sheets. Through these countless nights, the stillness of her dreaming still slashes at my bleeding mind. I want to join you; my darling, I will follow you into the darkness. You will not be alone.

Chapter 3: Dreams

Chapter 3: Dreams

Bella POV

I drift in and out of awareness, almost like sleep and wakefulness. Though how you can be awake with your eyes closed I don't know. Whenever I can, I try to move, try to make my body obey me, but it won't listen. Just one finger, I plead, but nothing happens. It's always the same, every time I 'wake up'. The only thing that changes are the people; the voices I hear talking.

Sometimes it's the doctor.

“She's still stable, but I don't like the look of these figures.”

Or it might be Charlie.

“Come on Bells, you can do this. You can fight this. Just wake up. Please, don't leave me like this, you can't...”

Yesterday, it was Jacob.

“I'm so sorry Bella. If only I’d been there sooner. You wouldn't be like this. You'd be ok. Stupid red-headed bloodsucker, she ruined everything.”

But, most of the time, the first voice I hear is Alice. I don't know if she leaves, or if she can tell that I can hear her, but she always seems to start talking just when I come part way back to reality. She's never halfway through a sentence or just finished and saying goodbye, like Charlie sometimes is. And she always starts the same way.

“He's on his way Bella. He'll be here soon.”

That's the only thing keeping me going; the knowledge that Edward will be here soon. I don't even care that he's probably only coming to help Alice. I can almost make myself believe that he's coming because he cares about me.

I don't know how long I’ve been here. I don't know if it's day or night. There's no lightening of my eyelids. Just the bright light high above me, where all the voices come from. I can't be sure, but I think they're getting fainter. That scares me. I don't want them to fade away; I don't want to lose touch with life and slip away.

That's just when I’m 'awake' though. When I sleep, I dream.

One of the only positives of the accident: I think those rocks knocked my nightmares clean out of my head. There's no more wandering aimlessly through forests, looking for something that isn't there.

My dreams are happy now. I remember all the happy times in my life; the cookies Renee and I tried to bake when I was seven that somehow ended up on the ceiling; the time Charlie fished me a little crab out of one of the tide pools; my last summer in California before I moved to Forks, Renee laughing with Phil, Charlie smiling despite himself, his arm around my shoulder as we walk along the beach. Then, more recent; the first time I ever talked to Edward; visiting the meadow, his skin sparkling in the sunshine; spending time at his family's house; his voice when he saved me from James; the whole gloriously rainy summer before senior year; my birthday, minus the whole near-death experience thing.

Other times, my dreams are entirely fictional. I dream of Edward, of course. I dream that he is back, and I am awake. I dream of him telling me everything he said was wrong, that he made a mistake, that he loves me and he wants me. All these impossible things that will never really happen.

Then, one day, I wake up, and there is no noise. No voices at least. Not even a rustling of sheets from the bed next to me. I know there was a woman there; Maggie, her husband called her. Maybe she's asleep, or she went home. I hope she's alright. But she's not here now, and the only sound is the beeping of my heart monitor, the hissing sound of the oxygen pump that keeps me breathing, and the gentle whir of the machine monitoring my brain activity as it prints out an endless stream of results.

Can it be that I’m alone, for once? Maybe I should be relieved; peace and quiet, at last. But I’m not. I want someone here, I want to hear a voice... I don't want to be alone.

Then I hear it. It's very quiet, almost silent, nearly drowned out by the sounds of the machines, but I still hear. Even, gentle breathing. The only kind of breathing that comes from someone who doesn't need it. It's so familiar, and I instantly know why. I fell asleep to the sound of it who knows how many times over the summer.

Edward is here.

Now that I know this, I wonder how I didn't realise it before. I can feel his presence, almost see him sitting beside me... but I can't actually see. My view is still only that white light. It doesn't seem so far away, and the sounds around me are clearer. Hope springs up in me before I can stop it, and I decide to take advantage of my enhanced sensitivity. I listen intently to the world around me. I will him to speak.

“Bella.”

It's a broken whisper, barely more than a breath, but just the sound of his voice sends a thrill through me. All of a sudden, the pain is all gone. I don't care that I can't move, because I want to stay right here. The hole in my chest is all closed up, like it was never there in the first place. I feel perfect.

He's still speaking. His breathing is less even; it hitches and shifts, like he's holding back sobs.

“Oh Bella, I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. For this, for everything. You have no idea. You probably can't even hear me. God, I’m so stupid.”

He lapses into silence and, for once, I wish he could read my mind. Or, if not, that I could speak. I wouldn't mind being paralysed if I could just talk. But I can't. Still, I think what I would say, if I could.

You're not stupid! You're the smartest, sweetest, kindest person I’ve ever met in my life. I can hear every word you say, and I want... no, I need you to talk to me. Tell me what you're sorry for, not that it matters; I will always forgive you. Tell me what you've been doing. Tell me why you came back. Tell me anything! Just keep talking, please.

I wonder if he can hear me, because he seems to be responding to my silent pleas.

“Bella... you probably don't want to hear this. You'll probably think it's all just bad excuses and lies. Why wouldn't you? I’ve lied before. But I have to tell you, whether you hear me or not; my conscience won't let me rest until I say it.” Edward takes a deep breath. I wait.

“That day in the forest... I lied Bella. Every word I said was a lie. My kind do not experience change often, and when we do, it is permanent and complete. You changed me Bella. After almost 90 years of not knowing I was missing anything, you brought me to life. I could never stop loving you, even if I wanted to; and believe me, I don't.”

I can't believe what I’m hearing. Is he saying what I think he's saying? Could he possibly still care about me? Still love me? My mind is spinning, so I only just hear him as he speaks again.

“When Alice called... I thought something horrible had happened. That there was a problem with my family. I never imagined there could be anything worse than that. But this is... so much worse. No matter how my heart is calmed to see your face and smell your scent and hear your heartbeat, it's not the same. I can't see your beautiful eyes, or hear your delicious laugh, or take you in my arms and hold on tight. If I never have the chance to do that again...” His voice chokes off abruptly, and I ache to comfort him.

“I mustn’t think that way. Alice told me not to, and she'll have my head if she realises I have. But she can't see anything, and it's driving both of us crazy. Whether you can forgive me or not, even if you never want to see me ever again, I need you to be ok. Not knowing if you're going to make it... it's killing me Bella. I haven't felt this scared since I thought I’d lost you to James.”

I mentally shudder at the memory. I remember every time I thought I wouldn't see Edward again. The time with James, of course, in the ballet studio in Phoenix... the disastrous day he left me... when Laurent nearly got me in the meadow, before Jacob and the rest of the pack showed up...

I wonder if it is as bad for me as it is for him, or if it's worse. Maybe it's me who has the worst experience; I’m never sure if I am enough to hold him. Maybe he's just guilty now, and he'll leave again when I wake up.

If you wake up, that annoying, self-doubting voice in my head mocks me. She has a point, much as I hate to admit it. The doctors think I don't hear them, don't see a change in the readings they get when I am 'awake', so they don't hide anything. As long as Charlie isn't around, they say whatever they want. I’ve heard them talk about declining vitals, decreasing levels of brain activity, new medication, different fluids in my IV. I tend to shut down a little, when I can. I can't seem to control when I drift off. I can't sleep when I want to, and when I want to stay awake, the blackness pulls me under.

Like now.

Edward isn't talking any more, just sobbing and whispering my name every now and then, and my subconscious has decided to shut down for the foreseeable future. As I am dragged further into the darkness, and that white light of reality fades away no matter how hard I try to cling to it, I have only one thought.

Edward. Don't leave. Be here when I wake up again.

Nothing else matters, as long as he stays. Nothing in the world.

Chapter 2: Alone

Chapter 2: Alone

Bella POV

Water flooded down my throat, choking and burning. The iron bar seemed to be dragging me, pulling me away from Edward, deeper into the dark ocean floor.

My eyes are searching; searching for the exit, the escape button, the switch. They won’t open, but it’s like they can’t close. Something is throbbing, but it’s not a real pain, just a strange feeling. I can’t find it, though; I can’t make out where it is. Maybe I’m dreaming, I’ll wake up and nothing will be the same as here, it will be all right again, how it’s meant to be.

Patient POV

“Her vitals are improving, but we’re still uncertain. The scans are inconclusive, so we’re going to run a few more tests today, take some samples. With any luck we’ll have news by Friday.”

“I hope so. Thanks doc, I really appreciate it.”

The man’s voice broke, whimpering as the doctor reassured him.

“Don’t worry, Charlie, we’ll save her.” The doctor cooed.

There were light footsteps prancing into the room, I looked up, hopeful that George had brought my tea back from the cafeteria. Such a simple gesture seemed confusing to him, I doubt he’ll be back by three. It was a slender girl, her dark hair bouncing with each gentle step as she danced over to the doctor.

“Don’t worry, Charlie, she’ll be fine.” The girl said, rubbing the old man’s shoulder.

He shrugged her off and left the room in a trail of mumbles.

She always had visitors, the girl next to me, it was a real shame she wasn’t awake to see them. I could imagine her surprise, smiling and laughing at all the balloons, tearing the gifts open. Tears brimming from her, her, I wonder what colour her eyes are. Perhaps I’ll never find out.

“Mag, what’re you thinking of now?” George asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Oh, nothing George,” I sighed as he handed me the polystyrene cup.

He rolled his eyes, silently pushed his glasses up his nose and stared blankly at his watch.

“C’mon Maggie, I’m not stupid. She’ll come at five, be on her way here, no doubt.”

“For goodness sake George, she’s always ‘on her way.’ Don’t try and fool me - she isn’t coming, not now, not ever.” I huffed, taking a large gulp from my steaming coffee.

He shrugged and sat at the end of the bed, patting my leg.

Bella POV

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, oh Bella, I’m so sorry,” Alice whimpered, breathing deeply in my ear. She’d been panicking, talking through her plan as she marched up and down.

“Bella, can you hear me? I’m so sorry! Why did I leave you?”

It was Edward speaking - he was apologizing to me; smiling, he had peonies in one hand- I could smell the fresh blossom -his other arm outstretched, cupping my cheek. I blinked rapidly, grinned, and searched the room to meet his worried expression. He beamed and we passionately embraced, tears flooding, until we could not identify where my tears started and his finished. He held my face and started laughing hysterically until he was trembling with delight, face crinkling immaculately. “I thought I had lost you, forever” he whispered, placing tender kisses that covered my moist face.

“Wake up, Bella, please, Bella, just wake up!” Alice cried, dragging me from my dream. She was dialling, jabbing numbers swiftly into the keypad. Her voice was quivering as someone answered.

“Rose, get Edward! Just get him! He needs to come here - you all need to,” Alice continued as Rosalie replied with what seemed like an essay between each word.

“It’s important! Yes, of course it’s about her! What do you mean Rose?! Ugh, I’m at the hospital, look, just get Edward! Yes, now!”

Edward? He’s coming? Oh, Alice! He’s really coming back? What about Jake – he’ll come too won’t he? Maybe I was asleep and didn’t hear him, yeah; Alice probably just scared him off. He’ll come back, I’m sure, and he can’t just leave me here. Alone.

Frustrating, that’s how it feels. I wish I’d just wake up, get this over and done with. Forget this ever happened. I was so stupid, so naive. It was only a voice, just an imaginary hallucination, a fake. Still, it was better than nothing. Better than anything, than this. Maybe this is what it feels like to be dead. People will forget about me soon, they won’t bother to visit, they won’t care about me. I’ll be alone for the rest of my life, hearing patients leave as the doctors wait. They’ll get tired of waiting for me to wake up; they’ll get tired of putting their lives on hold. They’ll return to normal and just get on with their lives. Well, it’s no use, not like they can hear me in here - and if they could, I doubt they can speak crazy.

Jacob POV

“You look so peaceful, Bells. Ugh, I feel so dumb, talking to you like this. Just wake up, for me, Bella? Can you hear me?” I whispered, leaning onto her hospital bed.

I stroked her face with the palm of my hand, hoping the heat will bring her back to me. Then the idea just appeared out of the blue, why didn’t I try this earlier?

“Okay, Bella, I know you’ll probably hate me for this but then again, if it brings you back then, hey – why not!” I leaned over her and held her head in my sweating hands. She was so pretty even with the mess of tubes sliding into her. I checked the heart rate monitor - phew, still alive. I leaned into her so the tips of our noses were touching, and then slid down to place her plump lips onto my moist mouth. She’s gonna kill me. I checked the heart rate monitor again.

“Damn, no change.” I sighed, still hugging Bells to me.

“LEAVE THAT GIRL ALONE!!!” There was a booming yell followed with a heavy object smacking into my back as I rolled from the bed onto the cold floor. The room seemed to double in size as a short woman in a hospital gown started beating me with a pot plant until I could only hear her as a faint cry.

“GEORGE! GET IN HERE!!!”